There is nothing i hate more than arrogant assholes who tear other people down because of who they are, or what they wear or their sexuality.
It bugs me right to the core.
Case in point, this jerk is being an ass, threatening to beat up a friend of mine because he is homosexual.
Being homosexual is not a big deal.
And if you do ever hurt him, you will regret it.
I mean what if being homosexual was normal, and being heterosexual was not?
Then you would bug the people who were hetero.
Its like, if you liked blue, but someone else liked red, would you torment them?
Probably not.
Because you are scared and uncomfortable doesn't give you the right to decide whats right and whats wrong.
Nor does it give you the right to make him scared and uncomfortable.
Your a BULLY.
And I will find a way to bring you down.
No, I'm not going to bully or harass you, because that would make me just like you.
Instead I will find a way to get people to rise up and make you turn your tail and run.
Just wait.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Friday, February 27, 2009
Teen night= Epic awesomeness
It was great.
Its been awhile since i have laughed and smiled so much.
I had such a great night.
Except the fat little jerks who fucking kicked me on the thunder run.
Your so lucky Layne didnt let me flip shit on you.
***Eeek, My Laynie :heart:****
What a sweetheart.
And yes i understand how mushy i am being, and yes, it even wants to make me gag.
But still.
:bigger heart:
:smiley face:
Its been awhile since i have laughed and smiled so much.
I had such a great night.
Except the fat little jerks who fucking kicked me on the thunder run.
Your so lucky Layne didnt let me flip shit on you.
***Eeek, My Laynie :heart:****
What a sweetheart.
And yes i understand how mushy i am being, and yes, it even wants to make me gag.
But still.
:bigger heart:
:smiley face:
Ok.
Its all ok.
I am going to make it.
Meanwhile on planet Xanax
Princess Vix is still srtuggling to feel accepted amoung the new tribe.
She feels awkward and weird.
But Stax and Aax are trying to make her feel welcome.
I am going to make it.
Meanwhile on planet Xanax
Princess Vix is still srtuggling to feel accepted amoung the new tribe.
She feels awkward and weird.
But Stax and Aax are trying to make her feel welcome.
I swear if that boy is mad at me I will never forgive you.
Because yes, I told him everything.
Why? Because I was in a huff and he wanted to know what was wrong.
And yesterday I was sick, today he is.
Now I know that my illness was directly related to stress.
His, I have no clue.
And I miss him.
We haven’t really talked much.
We text long enough to say good morning and let each other know were sick and not going to be there.
And I am so afraid about what he is thinking.
Feeling.
And I feel like crying, but I can’t.
Because I’m in this stupid class.
And I don’t want to look like a dolt.
You might be thinking, well why did I tell him?
Because I am a fairly honest person. I do lie sometimes, I can admit that.
But if I don’t have to I don’t need to, and when something is bad enough to make me spend all fucking day puking my guts out, yeah I think it’s something I should be truthful about.
If not then that’s just one more thing eating away at me.
See, but now I’m worried because I haven’t seen him.
And he has to work like all day Saturday and Sunday afternoons he has training.
So yeah. And because he most likely wont be able to go out tonight since he stayed home today, I can’t see him tonight.
Now this, this is very disheartening.
Because I can’t gauge his reaction if I don’t see him.
And if he is acting indifferent, well I simply can’t tell.
And you are the root of all problems. This time.
Maybe I will end up hating you.
Who fucking knows. At this point I am not happy. Not at all.
Thank you so much.
I really want to drown you in tears and vomit.
Have a GREAT day.
Plus Devon killed Ant George.
Aaron and Kerry are still dating (I think) and neither of them wants to be.
Amanda and Jamie are still having issues.
And Steph took a really bad picture of me. Which will most likely end up on facebook.
*Sigh*
Because yes, I told him everything.
Why? Because I was in a huff and he wanted to know what was wrong.
And yesterday I was sick, today he is.
Now I know that my illness was directly related to stress.
His, I have no clue.
And I miss him.
We haven’t really talked much.
We text long enough to say good morning and let each other know were sick and not going to be there.
And I am so afraid about what he is thinking.
Feeling.
And I feel like crying, but I can’t.
Because I’m in this stupid class.
And I don’t want to look like a dolt.
You might be thinking, well why did I tell him?
Because I am a fairly honest person. I do lie sometimes, I can admit that.
But if I don’t have to I don’t need to, and when something is bad enough to make me spend all fucking day puking my guts out, yeah I think it’s something I should be truthful about.
If not then that’s just one more thing eating away at me.
See, but now I’m worried because I haven’t seen him.
And he has to work like all day Saturday and Sunday afternoons he has training.
So yeah. And because he most likely wont be able to go out tonight since he stayed home today, I can’t see him tonight.
Now this, this is very disheartening.
Because I can’t gauge his reaction if I don’t see him.
And if he is acting indifferent, well I simply can’t tell.
And you are the root of all problems. This time.
Maybe I will end up hating you.
Who fucking knows. At this point I am not happy. Not at all.
Thank you so much.
I really want to drown you in tears and vomit.
Have a GREAT day.
Plus Devon killed Ant George.
Aaron and Kerry are still dating (I think) and neither of them wants to be.
Amanda and Jamie are still having issues.
And Steph took a really bad picture of me. Which will most likely end up on facebook.
*Sigh*
Thursday, February 26, 2009
*Vomit*
Stress induced illness is not fun.
I have spent my morning throwing up.
Like really.
That was a load and a half.
Way to much for me to handle right now.
Especially after having an already emotionally draining day.
You knew I had a bad day. So why would you say anything.
Your thing of making me want to hate you, couldn't really work.
Despite the fact i hold grudges, your still too sweet to make me hate you.
Hope we can be friends,
Because forgetting about you isn't an option.
But I am going to be mad for a while.
But thank you, and I wish every happiness for you.
Hope life treats you well.
-Samantha
I have spent my morning throwing up.
Like really.
That was a load and a half.
Way to much for me to handle right now.
Especially after having an already emotionally draining day.
You knew I had a bad day. So why would you say anything.
Your thing of making me want to hate you, couldn't really work.
Despite the fact i hold grudges, your still too sweet to make me hate you.
Hope we can be friends,
Because forgetting about you isn't an option.
But I am going to be mad for a while.
But thank you, and I wish every happiness for you.
Hope life treats you well.
-Samantha
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
What The FUCK
Are you fucking kidding me?
Like really.
What would you say if i told you * **** ***, or that i was ******* ** **** **** ***.
Who says that?
Even worse who fucking takes it back?
I feel like slaping you with a large smelly fish.
I am so mad and so sad and confused.
Why the fuck couldnt you have said it at a different time.
This was not right.
And I don't think I'm going to sleep at all.
You have pulled some dick moves tonight.
The first, I excused.
But this is too far.
I can't do this.
Don't be shocked if i dont speak to you for a few days.
Like really.
What would you say if i told you * **** ***, or that i was ******* ** **** **** ***.
Who says that?
Even worse who fucking takes it back?
I feel like slaping you with a large smelly fish.
I am so mad and so sad and confused.
Why the fuck couldnt you have said it at a different time.
This was not right.
And I don't think I'm going to sleep at all.
You have pulled some dick moves tonight.
The first, I excused.
But this is too far.
I can't do this.
Don't be shocked if i dont speak to you for a few days.
Oh the irony of being bullied on anti-bully week.
I am so sick of this shit.
Fuck you.
Jordan if you EVER spit on me agian,
or even mockingly do so, i dont care if i get suspened or expelled.
You will get your ass beat.
Like really, and thank you so much Mr. B for doing shit all.
Your lucky my mother doesnt tear a strip off you.
I hate the world at the moment and wish you all go die.
Except for :heart: Layne and Kerry, who enjoy making me laugh and smile.
You guys are great.
Fuck you.
Jordan if you EVER spit on me agian,
or even mockingly do so, i dont care if i get suspened or expelled.
You will get your ass beat.
Like really, and thank you so much Mr. B for doing shit all.
Your lucky my mother doesnt tear a strip off you.
I hate the world at the moment and wish you all go die.
Except for :heart: Layne and Kerry, who enjoy making me laugh and smile.
You guys are great.
Hmmm.
Want to work for Urban City??
email jay@urbancitycalgary.com with your name, and what you are interested in.
We are looking for:
- Promo Reps
- Video Media Production (use Video Editing Software)
- Graphic Designers
- Web designers (must be able to use FLASH)
ALL Urban City employee's get free VIP access to all Urban City Events!!!
email jay@urbancitycalgary.com with your name, and what you are interested in.
We are looking for:
- Promo Reps
- Video Media Production (use Video Editing Software)
- Graphic Designers
- Web designers (must be able to use FLASH)
ALL Urban City employee's get free VIP access to all Urban City Events!!!
Waring* No warm and fuzzy feelings. Its the cold hard bitchy truth, you have issues? Get the fuck over it!
So I am yet again sitting here swiftly kicking myself for getting up so early. My parents are fucking ecstatic that not only am I going to school, I’m getting here early. Like FAIL. I was up late thinking about stuff. I’m not sure if I liked it all. It was very confusing. There were all these random muddled thoughts. Of him, him, her, him, her, him. (Really specific, I know[Yes their names are in here, because anyone who knows me knows who I am talking about]) And yeah I just really felt crushed. Like there was this huge weight on me. It wasn’t good. But then I realized the decisions I made were based on behaviors of others. Last year, 6 months ago, one month ago. Up until the present. And I don’t regret anything so far. Well except maybe not being with Kyla more. I really wish I were still in her life as much as I used to be. Fuck I still remember walking to her house in nothing but shorts and tank top. My diary clutched close to my chest. I remember your mom asking where the hell my shoes were. And after you gave me some pants and a hoodie, and some shoes we went and walked around Elliston park. I remember eating cupcakes in the alley, the icing was too sweet so we scraped it off. Colorful gobs of icing all over the alley. Nearly getting hit by a police car. Drunken videos on the computer. Bringing booze to track day. Walking from Lloyds to the petro and getting this guy who like appeared from nowhere to buy us smokes. I remember social classes filled with carrots, water, asking Mr. K if cowboys were hotter than hockey players, throwing half a burnt Tylenol across the room. And then you and I, getting him and him and sneaking them in. It was raining and cold. And we tried sneaking out to meet them but we got caught, but we still snuck them in. And it was a great night. Even if he had a high heel in the back of his head, you know he enjoyed it. I always had much fun camping with them. I remember kissing Jeff under the stars at the amphitheater. And Ryan riding down the back stairs and biffed it on a tree root at the bottom. I don’t see any of you three anymore. Not often anyways. I remember how tight we used to be. Laynie your great, I am so happy to have met you. And thank you Kerry for knowing him. And being at the pool. I enjoy every minute in your arms. I feel like I never want to leave. I have a feeling this is going to last. Which is pretty great. I’m happy about it. *Sigh* And then you two. Tim, I wish I were what you were looking for. I wish I were good enough for you. And I am so sorry for everything, you probably hate me. Oh of course you might not admit it to me, but I’m pretty sure you hate me. I had so much fun with you. All the time. You always knew how to make me smile even when I didn’t want to. I don’t know why you put up with me half the time. I’m sorry I wanted something you weren’t ready to give. It’s ok; its just another sign to prove this wasn’t the right time for us. Maybe someday, maybe not. But I think we played a necessary part of each other’s lives. I hope we stay besties <3. Jess, I don’t know why you are acting like this. I really just don’t get it. I don’t understand how something so little could change something that has been so permanent for so long. I keep hoping and praying you’ll get over it. But quite frankly, and no offense, grow up. You just met him for like an hour and you get pissed at me? Because he and I talked? Hung out. He goes to my school. It was just right between us. So whatever. I’m sorry but no. In my opinion you need to get over it. Besides you have so many guys you are “into” at the moment. It sickens me. Sometimes I tell you I “like” Someone just so I can pretend to have conflicting emotions. I really have a one-track mind. When I like someone, they are my every thought. Not, but I like him too, oh and don’t forget I like him as well. Sorry, but no.
Well yeah. I don’t know why I started ranting.
But if you’re still reading, thank you.
If not then whatever, go fuck yourself.
I’m no longer in a pleasant mood.
Wow that’s great.
Ugh.
I really don’t know if YC is a good idea anymore, not with Tim and Jess being all…indescribably different.
And Caitrin’s not going. So I have no idea whats going to happen with that. Like at all.
#*%^@#$^%^&*(&*(()*&^$%#$@#$$#@##@$%#$%#$%@#%$#% ^$%^ %$^ $%^%%$@$ #@$%%$&^%#%$$^%#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well yeah. I don’t know why I started ranting.
But if you’re still reading, thank you.
If not then whatever, go fuck yourself.
I’m no longer in a pleasant mood.
Wow that’s great.
Ugh.
I really don’t know if YC is a good idea anymore, not with Tim and Jess being all…indescribably different.
And Caitrin’s not going. So I have no idea whats going to happen with that. Like at all.
#*%^@#$^%^&*(&*(()*&^$%#$@#$$#@##@$%#$%#$%@#%$#% ^$%^ %$^ $%^%%$@$ #@$%%$&^%#%$$^%#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Arg.
Today was almost flawless, except for the douch bag who pulled the fire alarm.
I was in fucking gym class.
In shorts!
And had to go out in -16 weather.
I was so totally not happy.
And then a friend(?) saw me with Layne.
And changed her facebook status.
Shes not happy about it. And I believe the staus was about it.
So yeah.
But it was funny to hear her brag about a certain someone saying she should quit smoking so he can kiss her.
Funny funny funny.
Whatever I am so over it.
Had a great night, parents like him, my mom is shocked I have found someone respectful. And umm yeah that covers it.
I have to get early... again,
So I gotta bounce.
PCE!
I was in fucking gym class.
In shorts!
And had to go out in -16 weather.
I was so totally not happy.
And then a friend(?) saw me with Layne.
And changed her facebook status.
Shes not happy about it. And I believe the staus was about it.
So yeah.
But it was funny to hear her brag about a certain someone saying she should quit smoking so he can kiss her.
Funny funny funny.
Whatever I am so over it.
Had a great night, parents like him, my mom is shocked I have found someone respectful. And umm yeah that covers it.
I have to get early... again,
So I gotta bounce.
PCE!
Today shall be satisfying.
Today shall be satisfying. Matt gets to die. I love having people who care and want to get even. I could handle it myself, but I know when to hold and when to play. This isn’t my time to play. But many of my guy friends will. And Holy broken wrist batman! Killer cast. Lime green to match our wonderful lanyards. Hope you get well soon Kassee. <3.
And guess what, I was up at five again, At school at like 6:45. I fail epically. And what’s worse is I enjoy it. And dude I am totally going to sneek out early to go see jeff and ryan quick. He said for a smoke, what they don’t know is I have quit smoking, so I can go freeze my tail off out there with them while they smoke. And then I am dutifully bound to help Kassee with lunch and I get to introduce her to all the people I met yesterday. I have a feeling it wont be too awkward. But Then it could also be totally awkward. So who knows. Layne gets to come over and meet the ‘rents tonight I can’t wait. I know they will just love him. He treats me right, he is normal, and he doesn’t have a criminal record. Plus he doesn’t smoke or do drugs, he drinks but not like he drinks to get drunk and be stupid. He is a Christian and goes to church and youth whenever he doesn’t have work or training. He’s a gamer. Hahaha and taller than me so mom will be happy. I really like him. We have stuff in common. He is great. =)
And guess what, I was up at five again, At school at like 6:45. I fail epically. And what’s worse is I enjoy it. And dude I am totally going to sneek out early to go see jeff and ryan quick. He said for a smoke, what they don’t know is I have quit smoking, so I can go freeze my tail off out there with them while they smoke. And then I am dutifully bound to help Kassee with lunch and I get to introduce her to all the people I met yesterday. I have a feeling it wont be too awkward. But Then it could also be totally awkward. So who knows. Layne gets to come over and meet the ‘rents tonight I can’t wait. I know they will just love him. He treats me right, he is normal, and he doesn’t have a criminal record. Plus he doesn’t smoke or do drugs, he drinks but not like he drinks to get drunk and be stupid. He is a Christian and goes to church and youth whenever he doesn’t have work or training. He’s a gamer. Hahaha and taller than me so mom will be happy. I really like him. We have stuff in common. He is great. =)
Monday, February 23, 2009
Best/worst weekend ever.
Its always great to have the 2 people you hold near and dear be mad at you.
I understand why, but still.
Kinda hurts.
Guess i deserve it.
Why would I ever deserve to be totally happy?
But that's another thing, My mom.
She is so proud of me.
That is good.
I hope i just don't screw up.
Which i don't plan to.
But still.
It like walking on eggshells.
But I am so happy, I have accomplished;
Going to school,
Having friends (for the most part)
Having a normal relationship with my parents,
And yeah just being a normal teen.
And i had so much fun swimming, i can not wait to go back.
Unfortunately i have to.
3 Weeks.
So sad.
And i know i shouldn't be worried, but i am, about fitting in with his friends.
They seem very open and honest, and goofy and fun.
Still.
And I cant wait for him to meet my parents, his parents are so cool.
And so chill, like really, i felt so comfortable there.
But for a bit it was, you can sit Sam; You can relax Sam.
They don't bite Sam.
I understand why, but still.
Kinda hurts.
Guess i deserve it.
Why would I ever deserve to be totally happy?
But that's another thing, My mom.
She is so proud of me.
That is good.
I hope i just don't screw up.
Which i don't plan to.
But still.
It like walking on eggshells.
But I am so happy, I have accomplished;
Going to school,
Having friends (for the most part)
Having a normal relationship with my parents,
And yeah just being a normal teen.
And i had so much fun swimming, i can not wait to go back.
Unfortunately i have to.
3 Weeks.
So sad.
And i know i shouldn't be worried, but i am, about fitting in with his friends.
They seem very open and honest, and goofy and fun.
Still.
And I cant wait for him to meet my parents, his parents are so cool.
And so chill, like really, i felt so comfortable there.
But for a bit it was, you can sit Sam; You can relax Sam.
They don't bite Sam.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Dude, ok so my tattoo was awesome.
It totally didnt even really hurt.
I feel like such a wipm when i think about how scared i was.
It just felt like being scratched.
And now it just feels sunburnt.
I wish i would have let you came, I mean it took five whole minutes.
My mom is going tomorrow for hers.
I really liked Del.
He was awesome, funny and sweet.
And despite being covered in tattoo's and working in a tattoo parlor he is a contry hick who likes to watch NASCAR truck series.
My mom likes him better than the gruff guy who did her last tattoo.
It totally didnt even really hurt.
I feel like such a wipm when i think about how scared i was.
It just felt like being scratched.
And now it just feels sunburnt.
I wish i would have let you came, I mean it took five whole minutes.
My mom is going tomorrow for hers.
I really liked Del.
He was awesome, funny and sweet.
And despite being covered in tattoo's and working in a tattoo parlor he is a contry hick who likes to watch NASCAR truck series.
My mom likes him better than the gruff guy who did her last tattoo.
Wow...just wow.
Last night was awesome.
I love meeting new people.
I love having reckless fun.
I love being able to relax.
I'm happy.
I love meeting new people.
I love having reckless fun.
I love being able to relax.
I'm happy.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Spab : To stab somebody using a spoon. Usually for humiliation or comical purposes.
I am so tired right now, I feel like I’m going to drop.
And I really should be doing my math homework. Like seriously. Fuck. Did I mention I am having hot flashes? No, well I am.
Oh well, it’s Friday, finally. Only problem is I have no idea what I’m doing tonight. Rawr. If I don’t find out what I’m doing I’ll see if Jess wants to go to teen night. Because after tomorrow I cant go swimming for three weeks. Wicked. So I have three weeks to lose about 100 pounds. Then I can compare to the pretty skinny girls. I mean if guys think skeletons are hot, then great. Sure why not, lets assimilate everyone into being as fucked as Nicole Ritchie. I mean eating disorders are the way of the future. Woot Woot.
BTW Happy (non) Birthday Carson. We know its not, but they don’t. So congrats on turning ….. ummm uhh. Well whatever Happy Birthday. +Smile if your thinking about sex+
Everyone should be smiling, because sex is always on our minds, because the media uses it to make things more appealing. Nothing is hotter than seeing some blonde skank on a wet soapy car in a tiny little bikini, eating a cheeseburger. I mean like daymn. All I can think about is mcdonalds now.
Sex sEx sEx Sex seX Sex seX.
Yeah. Still thinking about those fries.
Sex seX sEx Sex Sex sEx Sex SeX
And those chicken nuggets.
SEX!
Anyway, I still have not done any math homework. FAIL. So yeah I’m going to sign off, and go do it.
Peace <3
And I really should be doing my math homework. Like seriously. Fuck. Did I mention I am having hot flashes? No, well I am.
Oh well, it’s Friday, finally. Only problem is I have no idea what I’m doing tonight. Rawr. If I don’t find out what I’m doing I’ll see if Jess wants to go to teen night. Because after tomorrow I cant go swimming for three weeks. Wicked. So I have three weeks to lose about 100 pounds. Then I can compare to the pretty skinny girls. I mean if guys think skeletons are hot, then great. Sure why not, lets assimilate everyone into being as fucked as Nicole Ritchie. I mean eating disorders are the way of the future. Woot Woot.
BTW Happy (non) Birthday Carson. We know its not, but they don’t. So congrats on turning ….. ummm uhh. Well whatever Happy Birthday. +Smile if your thinking about sex+
Everyone should be smiling, because sex is always on our minds, because the media uses it to make things more appealing. Nothing is hotter than seeing some blonde skank on a wet soapy car in a tiny little bikini, eating a cheeseburger. I mean like daymn. All I can think about is mcdonalds now.
Sex sEx sEx Sex seX Sex seX.
Yeah. Still thinking about those fries.
Sex seX sEx Sex Sex sEx Sex SeX
And those chicken nuggets.
SEX!
Anyway, I still have not done any math homework. FAIL. So yeah I’m going to sign off, and go do it.
Peace <3
Thursday, February 19, 2009
I’m sorry.
It’s never good to watch a movie when every twitch feels like an earthquake. It gets annoying to feel like everyone is staring at you. I thought I was going to drop the cup. I don’t remember much of anything I said. I was totally out of it on these stupid pills. (Don’t worry, not like actual drugs or anything.) That’s what you get for not eating before I took them. I now feel very annoyed, because I made him think I was mad at him. All while totally pissing him off, I remember how many times I heard that. Which is why I thought he had hung up on purpose. But he said he didn’t, so I believe him. But last night he hung up, and all I thought was like are you fucking serious right now? Like I was like, ok I hated when Connor hung up on me and it was instant pain, hurt, and anger. But then I clamed down. Realized I was being stupid. Thought about calling him back, and fell asleep crying instead. And then I woke up (Very late, I totally over-slept) And listened to all the messages he left, and I wanted to say ‘I’m not mad at you, I could never stay mad at you, I’m so sorry I didn’t call you back, i'm sorry I turned off my phone’. But I didn’t say that. I text Good morning sunshine instead. And then I went to do my hair, and he called, so I went and called him back. And he was still like half asleep so I don’t remember what he had said, it was all very quiet. Hopefully, I remembered to apologize. If not, Hun I am so sorry, for everything. I feel terrible; I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. Not the only stupid thing I did yesterday. I bought a green shirt. With ruffles. What was I thinking? Green ruffles, on me, yeah right. I’m going to test it tomorrow. If James likes it, then it will be fine. Because he is always truthful. Which can get annoying, but I wish everyone were as truthful as he is. But yeah, There was this other shirt I totally thought was hot, but that was a bit slutty. Lol not like that has ever stopped me before. But yeah, it’s a cute halter, and it will be cool all summer. And some random thoughts, I want to go for a walk, The house is a mess, I am kinda hungry- but I’m not eating, My leg is super itchy, I hate this song I don’t even know why its on my ipod, I wish my hair would hurry up and grow I’m so fucking sick of having it short, I hope Kassee remembers were meeting up for lunch, I still have a fricken hour left of this class, its taking forever, Um I hope we have kraft dinner for supper. And I think I have to pee.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Well isnt that shitty.
*Warning: Bitch post. I had so much fun this past weekend, but there are still things gnawing at my heart. I can’t believe your doing drugs again. Like really, you have so much more to live for. You don’t need to be doing that, and I can’t even yell at you for being so stupid. And what really pisses me off, is you offered HER of all people, connections. She will not do drugs. And to think that she would is wow. You know her; you know she isn’t like that. But who knows. It’s like she’s not even herself anymore. She smokes now, and I feel responsible. I keep acting and pretending it doesn’t bother me but it does. Not just the smoking, but also the drinking. It scares me so much to know she enjoys drinking. And that she can’t wait to do it again. Drinking is not fun, I would know. (Falling off treadmill.) Because then on top of that is alcoholism. I’ve seen it destroy people. I will kick her ass before I ever let that happen. Part of me understands, but part of me doesn’t. Honestly, I know how her parents are, and I know how mine can be. It still isn’t an excuse for bad habits. I know that bad habits are not the way to deal with it. So why do I do them? Because it’s what is expected of me. People expect to see me smoking, or drinking. They expect me to say yes to everything my heart cries no too. Yes(no) I will sleep with you. Yes(no) I want to steal a car. Yes(no) I’ll go smoke a joint. Yes(no) I will help you steal. I can’t say no, and when I do, I feel guilty. I have been through a lot and have lost a lot of friends, so I try to do whatever I can to keep the ones I have. Even if it means not standing up for what I believe in. Whatever about me, back to her. She needs to smarten up before its too late. What’s worse is I can’t do anything, it has to be something she wants or she won’t change. And then there is him. I don’t know what it is between us, but there is just something great about you. Unfortunately you will never be mine. But while we are watching movies, cuddled up, listening to your heartbeat (which proves you do have a heart) it almost seems like we could be. Even when we argue and yell, it seems normal. I don’t know what you think or feel about me, but there are days I think you just say you care, its about as bad as the lines you feed me. The lines I take, like they don’t even taste bad. Like they mean more than what is on the surface. Regardless, I cant do anything to change any of the above because it is all out of my hands. And that bites. So now I get to go home and add another notch in my skin, to prove yet again how weak I am. Yay me.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Chocolate Sauce (Rated R)
I tie the blindfold around your head,
Your hands are tied to the posts of the bed,
Your shirt is off,
So is mine,
And your pants will come next,
Just give me some time.
You can see nothing,
But you can hear my deep breaths,
You relax with the sounds,
As my fingers run down your chest.
Small, light kisses along your lips,
Down your jaw line,
Your fingertips,
I gently suck on each lonely one,
Tonight is all about you having fun,
I brush my mouth across your lips,
My hands skimming gently over your hips,
You feel my warm breath in your ear,
Saying I love you so much, my dear,
I catch your ear lobe between my teeth,
A slight tickling throb,
And you start to speak.
I bring my middle finger up to your lips,
Pressing against them with just the tip,
“Sshhhh,” I whisper,
And I guide it inside,
Between your soft lips,
As I let out long, deep, sighs.
I draw it back out and kiss down your neck,
Your collarbone, your chest,
Wanting to taste our salted sweat,
But I have to wait,
And take my time,
Let the tension slowly climb.
You feel my movements,
And your dick, it aches,
It wants my warm tongue,
To taste its taste,
My pussy’s hot too,
And I want you to know,
So I take your hand down,
To feel the wetness below.
“See how much I want you?”
I softly say,
“I need your big cock inside me,
All the way.
Come on, lover, I know you want,
I want too,
But tonight I get to taunt.”
I begin to slide down your pants,
You raise your hips,
So I can glide them off,
With my fingertips,
I climb over you,
You feel my hot pussy against your strong abs,
I lean forward to kiss you,
You want to put your hands on my ass,
You can’t touch me though,
No matter how you try,
Your hands are tied,
You’re my prisoner tonight.
My kiss is sweet,
And you lick my lips,
Chocolate sauce you find,
And you suck it and sip.
Once you licked my lips clean,
My tongue joins yours,
You glide it inside my mouth,
And intensely explore.
I withdraw from you,
And put more chocolate on my lips,
Kissing you again,
All the way down to your dick.
I reach for some oil,
Warm it between my hands,
They creep towards your cock,
Giving the attention it demands,
You feel my soft touch,
You want more,
But the longer I tease you,
The more hardcore.
I want to drive you wild,
Make you need me,
So you’ll fuck me hard,
Make me scream,
Head to toe,
First soft and slow,
But fast and deep,
Letting our juices run and seep.
I bring you to my lips,
You feel my tongue,
Play with your crown,
Until you cum,
I swallow you all,
Creamy and warm,
Wanting all of you,
More, I perform.
I undo your blindfold,
But leave your hands,
As I lick off chocolate kiss marks,
And stroke your body with my hands.
I sit on the end,
Of our bed,
I want to fuck you,
But tease you instead.
I bring two fingers to my mouth,
My hands rub on my breasts and proceed to go south,
You watch me softly rub my clit,
Hear your moans,
And bite my lip,
I push a finger inside of me,
I imagine it’s your cock,
And you watch me play,
You’re hard as a rock.
Finally I can’t take it anymore,
I know your suffering,
So I bring your big dick to my door,
I rub against my clit,
With your head,
And deep inside of me,
Is where you, I led.
I grind on you slow,
Back and forth,
Up and down,
From south to north,
You want to touch me,
See my beautiful breasts,
Yearn to taste my nipples,
And feel my chest,
You watch your cock go inside,
And then back out,
You’re so hot and ready,
To fuck me until I shout,
You beg me to untie your hands,
So finally I do,
And pulling me close is the first thing you do,
You press my body against yours,
Feeling my skin,
Soft and warm.
“Get on your knees,”
Is your command,
I had my fun,
So I heed your demand,
I bend on over,
Showing you my ass,
You eat me out from behind,
And give it a smack,
“Come on baby, fuck me”
I tell you out loud
“Fuck me hard,
You’re more than allowed,”
You make me wait,
Its pay back time,
I need you inside,
So I beg one more time,
“Bang me like you mean it,
My tight little pussy’s all yours,
Get in there baby,
Inside my door.”
You grab my hips,
And thrust inside,
You hear my groan,
And begin to ride,
You have me screaming,
For more and more,
Hard and rough,
That’s what I'm for.
We both cum,
We kiss and cuddle,
Get into bed and softly snuggle,
Fall asleep in your arms,
While I hear you whisper loving charms,
And in the morning when we wake,
We’ll be at it again, the bed will shake.
Your hands are tied to the posts of the bed,
Your shirt is off,
So is mine,
And your pants will come next,
Just give me some time.
You can see nothing,
But you can hear my deep breaths,
You relax with the sounds,
As my fingers run down your chest.
Small, light kisses along your lips,
Down your jaw line,
Your fingertips,
I gently suck on each lonely one,
Tonight is all about you having fun,
I brush my mouth across your lips,
My hands skimming gently over your hips,
You feel my warm breath in your ear,
Saying I love you so much, my dear,
I catch your ear lobe between my teeth,
A slight tickling throb,
And you start to speak.
I bring my middle finger up to your lips,
Pressing against them with just the tip,
“Sshhhh,” I whisper,
And I guide it inside,
Between your soft lips,
As I let out long, deep, sighs.
I draw it back out and kiss down your neck,
Your collarbone, your chest,
Wanting to taste our salted sweat,
But I have to wait,
And take my time,
Let the tension slowly climb.
You feel my movements,
And your dick, it aches,
It wants my warm tongue,
To taste its taste,
My pussy’s hot too,
And I want you to know,
So I take your hand down,
To feel the wetness below.
“See how much I want you?”
I softly say,
“I need your big cock inside me,
All the way.
Come on, lover, I know you want,
I want too,
But tonight I get to taunt.”
I begin to slide down your pants,
You raise your hips,
So I can glide them off,
With my fingertips,
I climb over you,
You feel my hot pussy against your strong abs,
I lean forward to kiss you,
You want to put your hands on my ass,
You can’t touch me though,
No matter how you try,
Your hands are tied,
You’re my prisoner tonight.
My kiss is sweet,
And you lick my lips,
Chocolate sauce you find,
And you suck it and sip.
Once you licked my lips clean,
My tongue joins yours,
You glide it inside my mouth,
And intensely explore.
I withdraw from you,
And put more chocolate on my lips,
Kissing you again,
All the way down to your dick.
I reach for some oil,
Warm it between my hands,
They creep towards your cock,
Giving the attention it demands,
You feel my soft touch,
You want more,
But the longer I tease you,
The more hardcore.
I want to drive you wild,
Make you need me,
So you’ll fuck me hard,
Make me scream,
Head to toe,
First soft and slow,
But fast and deep,
Letting our juices run and seep.
I bring you to my lips,
You feel my tongue,
Play with your crown,
Until you cum,
I swallow you all,
Creamy and warm,
Wanting all of you,
More, I perform.
I undo your blindfold,
But leave your hands,
As I lick off chocolate kiss marks,
And stroke your body with my hands.
I sit on the end,
Of our bed,
I want to fuck you,
But tease you instead.
I bring two fingers to my mouth,
My hands rub on my breasts and proceed to go south,
You watch me softly rub my clit,
Hear your moans,
And bite my lip,
I push a finger inside of me,
I imagine it’s your cock,
And you watch me play,
You’re hard as a rock.
Finally I can’t take it anymore,
I know your suffering,
So I bring your big dick to my door,
I rub against my clit,
With your head,
And deep inside of me,
Is where you, I led.
I grind on you slow,
Back and forth,
Up and down,
From south to north,
You want to touch me,
See my beautiful breasts,
Yearn to taste my nipples,
And feel my chest,
You watch your cock go inside,
And then back out,
You’re so hot and ready,
To fuck me until I shout,
You beg me to untie your hands,
So finally I do,
And pulling me close is the first thing you do,
You press my body against yours,
Feeling my skin,
Soft and warm.
“Get on your knees,”
Is your command,
I had my fun,
So I heed your demand,
I bend on over,
Showing you my ass,
You eat me out from behind,
And give it a smack,
“Come on baby, fuck me”
I tell you out loud
“Fuck me hard,
You’re more than allowed,”
You make me wait,
Its pay back time,
I need you inside,
So I beg one more time,
“Bang me like you mean it,
My tight little pussy’s all yours,
Get in there baby,
Inside my door.”
You grab my hips,
And thrust inside,
You hear my groan,
And begin to ride,
You have me screaming,
For more and more,
Hard and rough,
That’s what I'm for.
We both cum,
We kiss and cuddle,
Get into bed and softly snuggle,
Fall asleep in your arms,
While I hear you whisper loving charms,
And in the morning when we wake,
We’ll be at it again, the bed will shake.
I wish I knew
I wish I knew what to do from here.
I wish I could just understand.
I wish I could be half normal.
I wish I wasn't so afrid to just say yes sometimes.
I wish I wasn't so afriad that I won't ever live up to my potentital.
Which is weird because I can still hear one of my fourth grade teachers telling me I was one of her low potential students.
Along with my friend Megan, and look where she is now.
Dropped out coke head, like her mother.
And you should have seen her.
Shes absolutley stunning.
And she was so talented, a born leader, who even at age 9 had the abilitiy to draw better than most people three times her age.
All of it thrown away.
I am so confused about life, and love.
I'm sure someday down the road, it will make sense.
But for right now, I think I need to climb under a rock.
I wish I could just understand.
I wish I could be half normal.
I wish I wasn't so afrid to just say yes sometimes.
I wish I wasn't so afriad that I won't ever live up to my potentital.
Which is weird because I can still hear one of my fourth grade teachers telling me I was one of her low potential students.
Along with my friend Megan, and look where she is now.
Dropped out coke head, like her mother.
And you should have seen her.
Shes absolutley stunning.
And she was so talented, a born leader, who even at age 9 had the abilitiy to draw better than most people three times her age.
All of it thrown away.
I am so confused about life, and love.
I'm sure someday down the road, it will make sense.
But for right now, I think I need to climb under a rock.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Blanket of stars (Rated R)
We go for a drive,
Late at night,
A blanket of stars,
A beautiful sight.
Your hand rests,
Upon my thigh,
Move up my skirt,
No need to be shy.
I close my eyes,
As I feel your touch,
And instantly,
Comes a surging rush.
You feel me wet,
Right away,
And smile,
As there aren’t words to say.
I scoot closer,
As you watch the road,
I kiss your neck,
Sweet kisses bestowed.
Run my fingers,
Through your hair,
And take you in,
With lustful stare.
My hand travels down,
From your strong chest,
Down to your pants,
Which I start to undress.
I reveal your shaft,
So hard and long,
And I stroke you lightly,
Gentle, not strong.
I lower down,
And skim soft lips,
Lightly over,
Just your tip.
I kiss and I lick,
Down the back,
Use my hands,
To massage your sack.
I take you in,
I take you out,
I tease you so
Your lust’s devout
You breathe so deeply,
As you drive,
But really, my love,
You’re on the ride
I move back up,
And spread soft licks,
Nibbles and kisses,
From your neck to your dick.
I feel your hand,
On my head,
Pushing gently,
I give in, instead.
Moving my hands,
In twisting motion,
Pleasing you with
Avid devotion.
I smooth my tongue,
Wet and slow,
Over your tip,
Until you blow.
I taste your cream,
As it melts on my tongue,
Devouring your candy,
As if I were young.
Bringing me closer,
You gently hug me,
Caress my skin,
And whisper you love me.
Your hand now,
Back on my thigh,
Moving slowly,
Making me high.
You lightly tease,
And fondle my clit,
I part my legs,
As beside you, I sit
I nuzzle your neck,
And whisper in your ear,
“Make love to me, honey”
You pull off to adhere.
The middle of nowhere,
In the calmness of night,
The blanket of stars,
Shining so bright.
We bring the blanket,
We spread it down,
And you pull me close,
Without a sound.
As I stand,
You strip me slowly,
Worshipping my body,
As if it were holy.
My shirt is off,
My bra undone,
And you slide off my skirt,
To finish what was begun.
Holding my hips,
As you drop to your knees,
Licking my thigh,
To lovingly tease.
You guide me down,
To the floor,
Part my legs,
And give me more.
Your tongue massages,
My every feeling,
Revealing emotions,
I was concealing.
Your finger now,
Sliding inside,
My hips move with you,
And gently I ride.
I moan so freely,
No one can hear,
Alone in the world,
With the one I hold dear.
You pull back,
And you take off your shirt,
The moonlight caressing you,
And your movement, inert
The pants come next,
You strip them down,
You begin to please me,
With just your crown.
I feel how hard,
How hot, how wet,
Your shaft is,
Against me, I’ll never forget
I pull you closer,
To make my yearning subside,
I want you so bad,
So I guide you inside.
I feel complete,
As you fill my void,
My fears and doubts,
Are now destroyed.
I gently move with you,
United as one,
The moon shines upon us,
Until the light is the sun.
Your body pressed against mine,
I feel you so strong,
And I feel so safe,
In your arms all night long.
Pulling you closer,
So deep inside,
I cannot resist you,
As in, you glide.
Making sweet love,
Feeling your skin,
Holding you tight,
Deep within.
Moving faster,
Cannot contain,
Our juices are pouring,
Out me, they drain.
“I love you,” you whisper,
Slow in my ear,
Almost so quietly,
That I cannot hear.
I kiss you deeply,
As my climax comes,
You feel my contractions,
They beat like drums.
You push into me faster,
Seeing me through,
And you know you’re close,
So you do not subdue.
“I love you, baby
Cum inside,”
I softly tell you,
As my legs open wide.
You thrust so deeply,
Devour my being,
You let me envelope you,
Which is so very freeing.
You release inside,
I feel you cum,
We have been loving so long,
That I feel numb.
I will never forget,
That night that was ours,
Alone, together,
Beneath a blanket of stars.
Late at night,
A blanket of stars,
A beautiful sight.
Your hand rests,
Upon my thigh,
Move up my skirt,
No need to be shy.
I close my eyes,
As I feel your touch,
And instantly,
Comes a surging rush.
You feel me wet,
Right away,
And smile,
As there aren’t words to say.
I scoot closer,
As you watch the road,
I kiss your neck,
Sweet kisses bestowed.
Run my fingers,
Through your hair,
And take you in,
With lustful stare.
My hand travels down,
From your strong chest,
Down to your pants,
Which I start to undress.
I reveal your shaft,
So hard and long,
And I stroke you lightly,
Gentle, not strong.
I lower down,
And skim soft lips,
Lightly over,
Just your tip.
I kiss and I lick,
Down the back,
Use my hands,
To massage your sack.
I take you in,
I take you out,
I tease you so
Your lust’s devout
You breathe so deeply,
As you drive,
But really, my love,
You’re on the ride
I move back up,
And spread soft licks,
Nibbles and kisses,
From your neck to your dick.
I feel your hand,
On my head,
Pushing gently,
I give in, instead.
Moving my hands,
In twisting motion,
Pleasing you with
Avid devotion.
I smooth my tongue,
Wet and slow,
Over your tip,
Until you blow.
I taste your cream,
As it melts on my tongue,
Devouring your candy,
As if I were young.
Bringing me closer,
You gently hug me,
Caress my skin,
And whisper you love me.
Your hand now,
Back on my thigh,
Moving slowly,
Making me high.
You lightly tease,
And fondle my clit,
I part my legs,
As beside you, I sit
I nuzzle your neck,
And whisper in your ear,
“Make love to me, honey”
You pull off to adhere.
The middle of nowhere,
In the calmness of night,
The blanket of stars,
Shining so bright.
We bring the blanket,
We spread it down,
And you pull me close,
Without a sound.
As I stand,
You strip me slowly,
Worshipping my body,
As if it were holy.
My shirt is off,
My bra undone,
And you slide off my skirt,
To finish what was begun.
Holding my hips,
As you drop to your knees,
Licking my thigh,
To lovingly tease.
You guide me down,
To the floor,
Part my legs,
And give me more.
Your tongue massages,
My every feeling,
Revealing emotions,
I was concealing.
Your finger now,
Sliding inside,
My hips move with you,
And gently I ride.
I moan so freely,
No one can hear,
Alone in the world,
With the one I hold dear.
You pull back,
And you take off your shirt,
The moonlight caressing you,
And your movement, inert
The pants come next,
You strip them down,
You begin to please me,
With just your crown.
I feel how hard,
How hot, how wet,
Your shaft is,
Against me, I’ll never forget
I pull you closer,
To make my yearning subside,
I want you so bad,
So I guide you inside.
I feel complete,
As you fill my void,
My fears and doubts,
Are now destroyed.
I gently move with you,
United as one,
The moon shines upon us,
Until the light is the sun.
Your body pressed against mine,
I feel you so strong,
And I feel so safe,
In your arms all night long.
Pulling you closer,
So deep inside,
I cannot resist you,
As in, you glide.
Making sweet love,
Feeling your skin,
Holding you tight,
Deep within.
Moving faster,
Cannot contain,
Our juices are pouring,
Out me, they drain.
“I love you,” you whisper,
Slow in my ear,
Almost so quietly,
That I cannot hear.
I kiss you deeply,
As my climax comes,
You feel my contractions,
They beat like drums.
You push into me faster,
Seeing me through,
And you know you’re close,
So you do not subdue.
“I love you, baby
Cum inside,”
I softly tell you,
As my legs open wide.
You thrust so deeply,
Devour my being,
You let me envelope you,
Which is so very freeing.
You release inside,
I feel you cum,
We have been loving so long,
That I feel numb.
I will never forget,
That night that was ours,
Alone, together,
Beneath a blanket of stars.
Smiley Face
On the plus side last night was great.
I already asked If i could go back next month.
I enjoyed helping so much.
I am so proud of Cindy to be moving out of there to her own place.
Like really. And even better, shes still clean!
=DDD
Me and Jess had a great talk last night.
But then we usually do, whenever we talk.
I have homework I'm going to go work on.
I almost feel normal, doing normal activities.
And sometimes it seems overwhelming, but if i can't handle something, then I just don't do it.
Like I was going to call T and ask if he wanted to chill today.
But I just didnt think today would be a good day.
I mean I've always spent valentines day alone, regardless of whether i had a bf or not.
Its just a depressing day, I cant stand it.
So as much as i want to see him, i'm better off here today.
And as for the other part of last night.
I.
Am.
Stupid.
But cuddling was great.
Even though I have so many questions running through my mind.
You.
Are.
So.
Confusing.
Anyway, Time for science!
Woot Woot.
(yeah, probably go watch tv.)
I already asked If i could go back next month.
I enjoyed helping so much.
I am so proud of Cindy to be moving out of there to her own place.
Like really. And even better, shes still clean!
=DDD
Me and Jess had a great talk last night.
But then we usually do, whenever we talk.
I have homework I'm going to go work on.
I almost feel normal, doing normal activities.
And sometimes it seems overwhelming, but if i can't handle something, then I just don't do it.
Like I was going to call T and ask if he wanted to chill today.
But I just didnt think today would be a good day.
I mean I've always spent valentines day alone, regardless of whether i had a bf or not.
Its just a depressing day, I cant stand it.
So as much as i want to see him, i'm better off here today.
And as for the other part of last night.
I.
Am.
Stupid.
But cuddling was great.
Even though I have so many questions running through my mind.
You.
Are.
So.
Confusing.
Anyway, Time for science!
Woot Woot.
(yeah, probably go watch tv.)
*Shakes head*
Happy 'Mistreat-love-so-you-can-waste-money-and-possibly-get-laid-or-rejected' Day!
Have a GREAT day! (<-- Sarcastic remark warning)
Have a GREAT day! (<-- Sarcastic remark warning)
Thursday, February 12, 2009
*Cringe*
I feel stupid, embarrassed, childish, moronic, senseless, humiliated and mortified.
I hope you don't hate me.
I wish you had listened when I said not to come.
I am probably going to go hide under a rock.
I hope you don't hate me.
I wish you had listened when I said not to come.
I am probably going to go hide under a rock.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
That girl can light up the room
life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances
you just have to live life to the fullest. laugh as much as you can, spend all your money, tell someone what they mean to you,
tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someones hand, comfort a friend, pig out, fall asleep watching the
sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, smile till your face hurts, dont be afraid to take chances or fall in love...& most of all live in
the moment cause when you look back someday knowing you have no regrets it's gonna be what makes you smile
you just have to live life to the fullest. laugh as much as you can, spend all your money, tell someone what they mean to you,
tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someones hand, comfort a friend, pig out, fall asleep watching the
sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, smile till your face hurts, dont be afraid to take chances or fall in love...& most of all live in
the moment cause when you look back someday knowing you have no regrets it's gonna be what makes you smile
Good day.
Almost great, but this guy, like will not take the hint i dont like him.
At all.
My dad does not approve, but my mother is encouraging my to give him a chance.
Like really, my excuse is he is twenty.
My dad said eightteen or nineteen is ok.
And I knew he would feel like that.
It still has "teen" in it.
But yeah, I'm absolutely not gonig out with this guy on valentines day.
I have to babysit, thankfully.
So yeah. =)
But I had fun at the dance.
It was so funny, this guy I remember as the little blonde boy who would kiss my mom's
leg and cling to her.
And he was grinding all over people. it was great
Almost great, but this guy, like will not take the hint i dont like him.
At all.
My dad does not approve, but my mother is encouraging my to give him a chance.
Like really, my excuse is he is twenty.
My dad said eightteen or nineteen is ok.
And I knew he would feel like that.
It still has "teen" in it.
But yeah, I'm absolutely not gonig out with this guy on valentines day.
I have to babysit, thankfully.
So yeah. =)
But I had fun at the dance.
It was so funny, this guy I remember as the little blonde boy who would kiss my mom's
leg and cling to her.
And he was grinding all over people. it was great
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Elvis <3 <3 <3
Once again your music has made me smile.
You don’t have to say you love me
Just be close at hand
You don’t have to stay forever
I will understand
Believe me, believe me
I can’t help I love you
But believe me, Ill never tie you down
-You don't have to say you love me By Elvis Presley.
You don’t have to say you love me
Just be close at hand
You don’t have to stay forever
I will understand
Believe me, believe me
I can’t help I love you
But believe me, Ill never tie you down
-You don't have to say you love me By Elvis Presley.
Yes!
I am so happy; today is such a great day. With great friends, and awesome music. I’m totally happy, total peace of mind. Like despite packing to move-which is so depressing, and dealing with some people and totally PMSing. I am ok. I have never felt so happy, so at peace, so loved and accepted. It’s so weird to be smiling. Minus all the crying I did last night. Its been awhile (haha about four weeks), since I have fallen asleep crying. Pms makes me so weepy, its disgusting. Like really, who enjoys crying all the time? But anyway, I think this afternoon/evening i'm going out for a walk. Just because, despite I being cold I think is beautiful out. But I cannot wait for the rebirth of spring. Everything is just so new and wow. But yeah, me armed with my camera and I don’t know where I want to go yet, but my feet will take me somewhere.
Monday, February 9, 2009
She Never Cried In Front Of Me- Toby Keith
7:35, she’s someone else’s wife
Now I can get on with my life
And that thrills me
She married him today
Her daddy gave the bride away
I heard a tear rolled down her face
And that kills me
Cause now I... can see why.....she’s finally cryin......
CHORUS
How was I supposed to know
she was slowly letting go
if I was putting her thru hell
Hell, I couldn’t tell
She could of given me a sign
And opened up my eyes
How was I supposed to see
She never cried in front of me……
Yeah maybe I might of changed
It’s hard for me to say
But the story’s still the same
And it’s a sad one
And I’ll always believe
If she ever did cry for me
They were tears that you can’t see
You know the bad ones
And Now I......can see why.......she’s finally cryin…
(Chorus)
Without a doubt I know now how it ought to be
Cause she’s gone and it’s wrong and it bothers me
Tomorrow I’ll still be, asking myself…….
(Chorus)
How was I supposed to see
She never cried in front of me.
Hell I couldn’t tell
Now I can get on with my life
And that thrills me
She married him today
Her daddy gave the bride away
I heard a tear rolled down her face
And that kills me
Cause now I... can see why.....she’s finally cryin......
CHORUS
How was I supposed to know
she was slowly letting go
if I was putting her thru hell
Hell, I couldn’t tell
She could of given me a sign
And opened up my eyes
How was I supposed to see
She never cried in front of me……
Yeah maybe I might of changed
It’s hard for me to say
But the story’s still the same
And it’s a sad one
And I’ll always believe
If she ever did cry for me
They were tears that you can’t see
You know the bad ones
And Now I......can see why.......she’s finally cryin…
(Chorus)
Without a doubt I know now how it ought to be
Cause she’s gone and it’s wrong and it bothers me
Tomorrow I’ll still be, asking myself…….
(Chorus)
How was I supposed to see
She never cried in front of me.
Hell I couldn’t tell
Poems written in boring classes.
Thinking about you.
Couldn't Sleep Last Night
Too Busy Thinking About You
Can't Get You Out Of My Head
But What Am I Supposed To Do
Every Night While I Sleep
I Dream About Me And You
For Us To Finally Be Together
Would Be A Dream Come True
I Can't Seem To Do Anything
Without You In My Head
Every Night I Sit And Think
About You As I Lie Awake In Bed
Everytime I'm Around You
You Take My Breath Away
I Wish That I Could Be With You
Every Minute Of Every Day
When I'm With You I Start To Shake
I Can't Think Of What To Say
My Heart Starts Beating Really Fast
And All My Fears Simply Melt Away
As I Stare Into Your Eyes
I Always Seem To Get Lost
I Would Give Anything To Be With You
No Matter What The Cost
I Think Im Going Crazy
I Just Don't Know What To Do
My Heart Controls My Mind
I've Fallen In Love With You
Valentines Rant
Why is Valentine's such a big deal?
It ticks me off, so this is how I feel.
Forget the dumb roses
and screw all the candy.
Don't make me hurl
by acting all dandy.
All this cute stuff;
it's really quite stupid.
Especially since we call a diapered man Cupid.
Silly grins plastered on everyone's face,
Why is it that all is either pinkish or lace?
The cheap sweethearts
always taste crappy.
The words *be mine*
are disgustingly sappy.
I'm done with this rant
as you can see.
So in final parting,
Cupid can bite me!!!!!!
Redneck Wedding.
Dearly Beloved; and you too Earl,
We have all gathered here together,
In everyone's favorite bingo church,
To hitch these young-uns up forever!
Let me hear you all say yea-ya!
Luke here has finally gotten wise;
He dumped that city girl hussy,
And here we are; what a surprise.
Rumor has it, she slept around!
An adulterous woman was she!
She wasn't very good in bed,
At least that's what most men told me.
She wasn't without her talents though.
She once sucked an ice cube through a straw!
A skill only a city girl would have,
The men who witnessed it were in awe!
Forgive me if I seem distracted.
Let's get back to the affairs at hand.
Did I say affairs? My mistake.
I hope you all try to understand.
Luke, do you take your cousin Peaches
To be your lawfully wedded wife?
Do you promise to kiss her butt,
For the rest of your natural life?
Will you love, honor and respect her,
Even when she does nothing but nag?
Will you leave the toilet seat down
Now and until she's an old hag?
And Peaches, will you have sex with Luke
Even when you're not in the mood?
Get a Martha Stewart cookbook,
And try to fix this boy some real food?
Will you please learn that trick with the straw?
And you know my number if you do.
Now, let's get this thing over with,
So we can start that barbeque!
Georgie, catch that chicken with the rings!
Be careful on that foot, if you can.
You're lucky Luke only shot you there.
This way, you can still be his best man!
Okay boys, you'd best cock your rifles!
This time, you better aim for the head!
Anyone out there have a reason
Why this couple should not be wed?
Anyone? Alright, put em down boys.
I know, it is a big bummer;
But you still might get to shoot someone
When the tourists arrive this summer!
So, by the authority of the church,
And the fact that I can smell that meat,
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
Now kiss your bride so we can eat!
^^^My favorite one. Its great.
Couldn't Sleep Last Night
Too Busy Thinking About You
Can't Get You Out Of My Head
But What Am I Supposed To Do
Every Night While I Sleep
I Dream About Me And You
For Us To Finally Be Together
Would Be A Dream Come True
I Can't Seem To Do Anything
Without You In My Head
Every Night I Sit And Think
About You As I Lie Awake In Bed
Everytime I'm Around You
You Take My Breath Away
I Wish That I Could Be With You
Every Minute Of Every Day
When I'm With You I Start To Shake
I Can't Think Of What To Say
My Heart Starts Beating Really Fast
And All My Fears Simply Melt Away
As I Stare Into Your Eyes
I Always Seem To Get Lost
I Would Give Anything To Be With You
No Matter What The Cost
I Think Im Going Crazy
I Just Don't Know What To Do
My Heart Controls My Mind
I've Fallen In Love With You
Valentines Rant
Why is Valentine's such a big deal?
It ticks me off, so this is how I feel.
Forget the dumb roses
and screw all the candy.
Don't make me hurl
by acting all dandy.
All this cute stuff;
it's really quite stupid.
Especially since we call a diapered man Cupid.
Silly grins plastered on everyone's face,
Why is it that all is either pinkish or lace?
The cheap sweethearts
always taste crappy.
The words *be mine*
are disgustingly sappy.
I'm done with this rant
as you can see.
So in final parting,
Cupid can bite me!!!!!!
Redneck Wedding.
Dearly Beloved; and you too Earl,
We have all gathered here together,
In everyone's favorite bingo church,
To hitch these young-uns up forever!
Let me hear you all say yea-ya!
Luke here has finally gotten wise;
He dumped that city girl hussy,
And here we are; what a surprise.
Rumor has it, she slept around!
An adulterous woman was she!
She wasn't very good in bed,
At least that's what most men told me.
She wasn't without her talents though.
She once sucked an ice cube through a straw!
A skill only a city girl would have,
The men who witnessed it were in awe!
Forgive me if I seem distracted.
Let's get back to the affairs at hand.
Did I say affairs? My mistake.
I hope you all try to understand.
Luke, do you take your cousin Peaches
To be your lawfully wedded wife?
Do you promise to kiss her butt,
For the rest of your natural life?
Will you love, honor and respect her,
Even when she does nothing but nag?
Will you leave the toilet seat down
Now and until she's an old hag?
And Peaches, will you have sex with Luke
Even when you're not in the mood?
Get a Martha Stewart cookbook,
And try to fix this boy some real food?
Will you please learn that trick with the straw?
And you know my number if you do.
Now, let's get this thing over with,
So we can start that barbeque!
Georgie, catch that chicken with the rings!
Be careful on that foot, if you can.
You're lucky Luke only shot you there.
This way, you can still be his best man!
Okay boys, you'd best cock your rifles!
This time, you better aim for the head!
Anyone out there have a reason
Why this couple should not be wed?
Anyone? Alright, put em down boys.
I know, it is a big bummer;
But you still might get to shoot someone
When the tourists arrive this summer!
So, by the authority of the church,
And the fact that I can smell that meat,
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
Now kiss your bride so we can eat!
^^^My favorite one. Its great.
So excited for gym class.
So like really, I am. I need to run.
I need to break free of this bitchy, bitter, cynical point of view.
I need to stay happy.
Besides, its not who I am.
Yes I am a bitch, but I don’t need to get bitchy about nothing.
So im just going to chill.
And smile and remember that today is a beautiful day.
And I am so lucky to be alive.
So I’m just going to shake it off and enjoy the moment with no fears of tomorrow may bring.
I need to break free of this bitchy, bitter, cynical point of view.
I need to stay happy.
Besides, its not who I am.
Yes I am a bitch, but I don’t need to get bitchy about nothing.
So im just going to chill.
And smile and remember that today is a beautiful day.
And I am so lucky to be alive.
So I’m just going to shake it off and enjoy the moment with no fears of tomorrow may bring.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
What I am Ideally looking for in a guy.
I've decided what i need in a guy.
Someone who loves me, imperfections and all.
Someone I can trust.
Someone who can appreciate the boyish side of me.
Someone who isn't afraid to fight with me. (play fighting, or arguing their position in a conversation.)
Someone who can hold me when I need to cry.
Someone who enjoys cooking with me.
Someone I can take care of.
Someone who can make me smile, even when i don't want to.
Someone I can go exploring with.
Someone who enjoys the rodeo and chuck wagons, or at least go if i ask.
Someone who can be involved with my family, whether it be going to my brothers games, playing the guitar with my dad, or watching hockey with everyone.
Someone looking to spend forever with me, even though forever is overrated and over used.
Someone I can do nothing with.
Someone who can look at me with make up smudged and all over, in sweats and crying and still think I'm the most beautiful girl they have ever seen.
Someone who loves being outside, no matter the weather.
Someone who thinks a picnic and throwing a Frisbee is romantic.
Someone who wont pressure me into anything.
Someone who loves the mountains, and nature.
Someone who is confidant, but not cocky.
Someone who is true to them self.
Someone non-judgemental.
Someone who can have fun without drugs or alcohol. (My aunt died of alcoholism, so excessive drinking wont be tolerated, but every now and then is fine; drugs, just don't do they around me.)
Someone I can love unconditionally, on the good but especially on the bad days.
Someone who loves me, imperfections and all.
Someone I can trust.
Someone who can appreciate the boyish side of me.
Someone who isn't afraid to fight with me. (play fighting, or arguing their position in a conversation.)
Someone who can hold me when I need to cry.
Someone who enjoys cooking with me.
Someone I can take care of.
Someone who can make me smile, even when i don't want to.
Someone I can go exploring with.
Someone who enjoys the rodeo and chuck wagons, or at least go if i ask.
Someone who can be involved with my family, whether it be going to my brothers games, playing the guitar with my dad, or watching hockey with everyone.
Someone looking to spend forever with me, even though forever is overrated and over used.
Someone I can do nothing with.
Someone who can look at me with make up smudged and all over, in sweats and crying and still think I'm the most beautiful girl they have ever seen.
Someone who loves being outside, no matter the weather.
Someone who thinks a picnic and throwing a Frisbee is romantic.
Someone who wont pressure me into anything.
Someone who loves the mountains, and nature.
Someone who is confidant, but not cocky.
Someone who is true to them self.
Someone non-judgemental.
Someone who can have fun without drugs or alcohol. (My aunt died of alcoholism, so excessive drinking wont be tolerated, but every now and then is fine; drugs, just don't do they around me.)
Someone I can love unconditionally, on the good but especially on the bad days.
Wow what an amazing day.
I got some smokes.
Me and Jess had a great talk.
School was enjoyable again today.
I think i may actually understand chem this time.
Justin has a basketball game i cant wait to go see.
And i bought this awesome Beatles shirt.
I am completely content with my life.
Me and Jess had a great talk.
School was enjoyable again today.
I think i may actually understand chem this time.
Justin has a basketball game i cant wait to go see.
And i bought this awesome Beatles shirt.
I am completely content with my life.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Hahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
I'm so happy I'm not you.
I'm so happy that were through.
I dont know why we were ever friends.
And it is so funny to think that your parents that I was a screw up.
And look who has a kid at 17.
Who was forced to marry a pussy whipped jerk?
Not me mutha fucka!
(But to not be a total bitch, your son(?) is really cute.)
I'm so happy that were through.
I dont know why we were ever friends.
And it is so funny to think that your parents that I was a screw up.
And look who has a kid at 17.
Who was forced to marry a pussy whipped jerk?
Not me mutha fucka!
(But to not be a total bitch, your son(?) is really cute.)
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
Legal studies
Lesson 1: Deposits and Returns
1. The store does not need to return the deposit unless it was stated that the deposit was refundable. If it is not then it is not their obligation to return the deposit. However they may choose to return the deposit to keep the customer happy.
2. a) The store was under legal obligation to hold the cherries for Mrs. Popowich. They had made an verbal contract from which both parties benefited. Mrs. Popowich would have gotten the cherries, and the manager got a $2 deposit.
However, if in the contract Mrs. Popowich had to return the same day, then the contract would have been violated and the store manager was no longer under legal obligation to hold the cherries.
2. b) Depending on the circumstances, yes. If she didn't need to be back the same day, then he violated the terms of which they had agreed upon.
3. a) Sonia should be able to return the knife because it doesn't work, however she may have to send it away to the company that made the knife, if the company who makes the knife had a money back guarantee.
3. b) Sherry wouldn't be able to return the sweater because it was her carelessness that caused the sweater to shrink. Plus most stores only allow you to return unworn and unwashed merchandise.
3. c) No he would not be able to return the saw unless it said it was meant to cut metal pipes, and if it was, there may be a manufacturer's warranty or money back guarantee from the manufacturer.
3. d) Yes Denzel would be able to return the shirts and get a refund, because he wanted to buy short sleeve shirts and the store sold him long sleeve shirts, and as long as they are unworn he should be able to get a refund.
4. Kim should get no satisfaction from returning to the store. She only had a week to return them, and she showed up a month later with gloves that are ripped and worn. She was informed of the store's policy so she should not have her money returned. However they may give her store credit, if they want to keep her happy.
5. Most stores have return policies, where under certain conditions you can return something you have bought. Though by law they aren't obligated to, they do because they value the customers. They want them to be happy, in hopes for the consumer to buy from their store again.
Lesson 2: Making Contracts
1. Bus/Cab ride. Buying Lunch. Going bowling, swimming, skating. Going to an amusement park. Buying clothes. Renting somewhere to live. Credit/debt cards. Renting a movie. Libray card.
2. No a contract hasn't been established. The taxi driver did not say anything. He did not agree to anything, and did not ask for something in return. While it is implied that he agrees because he starts driviing you to your destination, because he says nothing there is no contract.
3.
Types Of Contracts
Contract Implied Express
Getting a hair cut.
Buying a limited-edition print.
Buying a used vehicle.
Buying a bag of chips.
Renting two DVD's.
4. Bus/Cab ride.
Buying lunch
Going bowling
Going swimming
Going skating
Going to an amusement park.
Buying clothes.
Renting somewhere to live.
Credit/Debt Cards.
5. a) I do not think it is a valid contract because only one person gets something out of it.
5. b) I do not think it is a valid contract because Jessica is only four and doesn't know what she wants.
5. c) Its not valid because selling drugs is illegal.
5. d) I do not think it is a valid contract, because the father has nothing in return.
5. e) I know it is not a vaild contract because she was blackmailed into it.
5. f) It is not a valid contract becuase she really does not mean what she said, she was just frustrated.
5. g) It is a valid contract, because both parties get something.
1. The store does not need to return the deposit unless it was stated that the deposit was refundable. If it is not then it is not their obligation to return the deposit. However they may choose to return the deposit to keep the customer happy.
2. a) The store was under legal obligation to hold the cherries for Mrs. Popowich. They had made an verbal contract from which both parties benefited. Mrs. Popowich would have gotten the cherries, and the manager got a $2 deposit.
However, if in the contract Mrs. Popowich had to return the same day, then the contract would have been violated and the store manager was no longer under legal obligation to hold the cherries.
2. b) Depending on the circumstances, yes. If she didn't need to be back the same day, then he violated the terms of which they had agreed upon.
3. a) Sonia should be able to return the knife because it doesn't work, however she may have to send it away to the company that made the knife, if the company who makes the knife had a money back guarantee.
3. b) Sherry wouldn't be able to return the sweater because it was her carelessness that caused the sweater to shrink. Plus most stores only allow you to return unworn and unwashed merchandise.
3. c) No he would not be able to return the saw unless it said it was meant to cut metal pipes, and if it was, there may be a manufacturer's warranty or money back guarantee from the manufacturer.
3. d) Yes Denzel would be able to return the shirts and get a refund, because he wanted to buy short sleeve shirts and the store sold him long sleeve shirts, and as long as they are unworn he should be able to get a refund.
4. Kim should get no satisfaction from returning to the store. She only had a week to return them, and she showed up a month later with gloves that are ripped and worn. She was informed of the store's policy so she should not have her money returned. However they may give her store credit, if they want to keep her happy.
5. Most stores have return policies, where under certain conditions you can return something you have bought. Though by law they aren't obligated to, they do because they value the customers. They want them to be happy, in hopes for the consumer to buy from their store again.
Lesson 2: Making Contracts
1. Bus/Cab ride. Buying Lunch. Going bowling, swimming, skating. Going to an amusement park. Buying clothes. Renting somewhere to live. Credit/debt cards. Renting a movie. Libray card.
2. No a contract hasn't been established. The taxi driver did not say anything. He did not agree to anything, and did not ask for something in return. While it is implied that he agrees because he starts driviing you to your destination, because he says nothing there is no contract.
3.
Types Of Contracts
Contract Implied Express
Getting a hair cut.
Buying a limited-edition print.
Buying a used vehicle.
Buying a bag of chips.
Renting two DVD's.
4. Bus/Cab ride.
Buying lunch
Going bowling
Going swimming
Going skating
Going to an amusement park.
Buying clothes.
Renting somewhere to live.
Credit/Debt Cards.
5. a) I do not think it is a valid contract because only one person gets something out of it.
5. b) I do not think it is a valid contract because Jessica is only four and doesn't know what she wants.
5. c) Its not valid because selling drugs is illegal.
5. d) I do not think it is a valid contract, because the father has nothing in return.
5. e) I know it is not a vaild contract because she was blackmailed into it.
5. f) It is not a valid contract becuase she really does not mean what she said, she was just frustrated.
5. g) It is a valid contract, because both parties get something.
First day of second semester.
Ok so today went, alright.
Considering the screaming match with my dad first thing this morning,
and now they are being complete douche bags.
Both of them, need to go die somewhere and piss right the fuck off.
So I have legal studies, which is online and i can access it from home.
So I plan to work on that and like work ahead, so I actually pass something- plus i find it very interesting so far.
Second I have science.
Which is so great! Pierce is in my class.
And he actually came and at with me, I guess me and him are like friends now.
Which is nice after like a four year battle.
And My science teacher is (so cute, 25) so upbeat and fun.
And it sounds like he knows his stuff, so maybe chemistry wont suck.
And he says hes always there at 8 every morning, so if i need help, i can get it without looking lame in front of the class.
Third I have P.E
Which Was so effing boring.
First day, all we do is sit and talk, and talk, and talk.
So when we got up to play basketball i was happy.
And whats best is that is what we are starting with.
I (heart) Basketball!
Finally I have math.
Which so far isn't bad, except i can not remember anything about integers!
Like really its been 2 years since i have done any math.
So yeah, brain fart.
Ms. Sorensen gave us a little booklet to do, by Friday.
I can have it done for tomorrow.
Sheesh.
And finally, I wont be sitting alone tomorrow.
A***** knows its my birthday so hes taking me for lunch,
he is such a sweetheart.
Honestly i wasn't sure if i should, because i dint want him thinking were getting engaged or anything.
Lol he is great, but he has had a crush on me since 8th grade, so it can get weird with him sometimes.
And i am going for my tattoo first week of march. Because my mom still needs time.
Were getting tattoos together.
She has a unicorn on her shoulder and this pretty thing my cousin drew up for her on her left calf.
It is like hearts with Justin's and my first initials.
Its so pretty.
But now she wants one for my dad, a little dragon, but she hasn't found one she likes yet.
So yeah her birthday is march 5th so were going like around then.
I wish it could be sooner, but oh well.
Shes paying for it and signing for it, so i Really cant complain.
Considering the screaming match with my dad first thing this morning,
and now they are being complete douche bags.
Both of them, need to go die somewhere and piss right the fuck off.
So I have legal studies, which is online and i can access it from home.
So I plan to work on that and like work ahead, so I actually pass something- plus i find it very interesting so far.
Second I have science.
Which is so great! Pierce is in my class.
And he actually came and at with me, I guess me and him are like friends now.
Which is nice after like a four year battle.
And My science teacher is (so cute, 25) so upbeat and fun.
And it sounds like he knows his stuff, so maybe chemistry wont suck.
And he says hes always there at 8 every morning, so if i need help, i can get it without looking lame in front of the class.
Third I have P.E
Which Was so effing boring.
First day, all we do is sit and talk, and talk, and talk.
So when we got up to play basketball i was happy.
And whats best is that is what we are starting with.
I (heart) Basketball!
Finally I have math.
Which so far isn't bad, except i can not remember anything about integers!
Like really its been 2 years since i have done any math.
So yeah, brain fart.
Ms. Sorensen gave us a little booklet to do, by Friday.
I can have it done for tomorrow.
Sheesh.
And finally, I wont be sitting alone tomorrow.
A***** knows its my birthday so hes taking me for lunch,
he is such a sweetheart.
Honestly i wasn't sure if i should, because i dint want him thinking were getting engaged or anything.
Lol he is great, but he has had a crush on me since 8th grade, so it can get weird with him sometimes.
And i am going for my tattoo first week of march. Because my mom still needs time.
Were getting tattoos together.
She has a unicorn on her shoulder and this pretty thing my cousin drew up for her on her left calf.
It is like hearts with Justin's and my first initials.
Its so pretty.
But now she wants one for my dad, a little dragon, but she hasn't found one she likes yet.
So yeah her birthday is march 5th so were going like around then.
I wish it could be sooner, but oh well.
Shes paying for it and signing for it, so i Really cant complain.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Hmmmmm.
This year I turn 16.
Tuesday actually.
And I've decided I want it to be different than last year.
I don't want to get kicked out or arrested.
I'm not going to touch pot or anything, ever. For absolutely no reason.
I don't want to drink. If I do, I don't want to get wasted.
Its a waste of time, and my abilities.
I want to work hard and succeed.
And I want to have fun while doing it.
Plus it wouldn't hurt to meet a great guy.
Which there is someone I actually have my eye on.
If it works it works, if not, who cares.
So far its been great, I'm off to a better start than last year.
This time last year I wasn't in school, and living with my 20 year old boyfriend.
And Me and two of my girlfriends got shitfaced for my birthday, and did some regrettable things.
But on the good side of that is I ended up dating one of them, and it was great, I love her as much now as I did then, I wish we still talked. I miss her.
This year I'm in school, Had a great, clean, wholesome birthday.
Which was totally kick ass!
Me and Jess went swimming and met up with Tim <3 and Jason.
Then went and hung out with Justin, Carson, and Donnie, skating.
And Garrett <3 gave me a hug and wished me a happy birthday.
Omg he smelled so great!
**So I read the rules
I think they are great.
And are totally respectable.
And so totally cute!
I really hope you find someone someday who fits your criteria.
And thank you because now wheels are turning in my head, creating some rules/thoughts/ideal characteristics of my own.
Tuesday actually.
And I've decided I want it to be different than last year.
I don't want to get kicked out or arrested.
I'm not going to touch pot or anything, ever. For absolutely no reason.
I don't want to drink. If I do, I don't want to get wasted.
Its a waste of time, and my abilities.
I want to work hard and succeed.
And I want to have fun while doing it.
Plus it wouldn't hurt to meet a great guy.
Which there is someone I actually have my eye on.
If it works it works, if not, who cares.
So far its been great, I'm off to a better start than last year.
This time last year I wasn't in school, and living with my 20 year old boyfriend.
And Me and two of my girlfriends got shitfaced for my birthday, and did some regrettable things.
But on the good side of that is I ended up dating one of them, and it was great, I love her as much now as I did then, I wish we still talked. I miss her.
This year I'm in school, Had a great, clean, wholesome birthday.
Which was totally kick ass!
Me and Jess went swimming and met up with Tim <3 and Jason.
Then went and hung out with Justin, Carson, and Donnie, skating.
And Garrett <3 gave me a hug and wished me a happy birthday.
Omg he smelled so great!
**So I read the rules
I think they are great.
And are totally respectable.
And so totally cute!
I really hope you find someone someday who fits your criteria.
And thank you because now wheels are turning in my head, creating some rules/thoughts/ideal characteristics of my own.
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