I’m sorry.

It’s never good to watch a movie when every twitch feels like an earthquake. It gets annoying to feel like everyone is staring at you. I thought I was going to drop the cup. I don’t remember much of anything I said. I was totally out of it on these stupid pills. (Don’t worry, not like actual drugs or anything.) That’s what you get for not eating before I took them. I now feel very annoyed, because I made him think I was mad at him. All while totally pissing him off, I remember how many times I heard that. Which is why I thought he had hung up on purpose. But he said he didn’t, so I believe him. But last night he hung up, and all I thought was like are you fucking serious right now? Like I was like, ok I hated when Connor hung up on me and it was instant pain, hurt, and anger. But then I clamed down. Realized I was being stupid. Thought about calling him back, and fell asleep crying instead. And then I woke up (Very late, I totally over-slept) And listened to all the messages he left, and I wanted to say ‘I’m not mad at you, I could never stay mad at you, I’m so sorry I didn’t call you back, i'm sorry I turned off my phone’. But I didn’t say that. I text Good morning sunshine instead. And then I went to do my hair, and he called, so I went and called him back. And he was still like half asleep so I don’t remember what he had said, it was all very quiet. Hopefully, I remembered to apologize. If not, Hun I am so sorry, for everything. I feel terrible; I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. Not the only stupid thing I did yesterday. I bought a green shirt. With ruffles. What was I thinking? Green ruffles, on me, yeah right. I’m going to test it tomorrow. If James likes it, then it will be fine. Because he is always truthful. Which can get annoying, but I wish everyone were as truthful as he is. But yeah, There was this other shirt I totally thought was hot, but that was a bit slutty. Lol not like that has ever stopped me before. But yeah, it’s a cute halter, and it will be cool all summer. And some random thoughts, I want to go for a walk, The house is a mess, I am kinda hungry- but I’m not eating, My leg is super itchy, I hate this song I don’t even know why its on my ipod, I wish my hair would hurry up and grow I’m so fucking sick of having it short, I hope Kassee remembers were meeting up for lunch, I still have a fricken hour left of this class, its taking forever, Um I hope we have kraft dinner for supper. And I think I have to pee.