Monday, February 9, 2009

Poems written in boring classes.

Thinking about you.

Couldn't Sleep Last Night
Too Busy Thinking About You
Can't Get You Out Of My Head
But What Am I Supposed To Do

Every Night While I Sleep
I Dream About Me And You
For Us To Finally Be Together
Would Be A Dream Come True

I Can't Seem To Do Anything
Without You In My Head
Every Night I Sit And Think
About You As I Lie Awake In Bed

Everytime I'm Around You
You Take My Breath Away
I Wish That I Could Be With You
Every Minute Of Every Day

When I'm With You I Start To Shake
I Can't Think Of What To Say
My Heart Starts Beating Really Fast
And All My Fears Simply Melt Away

As I Stare Into Your Eyes
I Always Seem To Get Lost
I Would Give Anything To Be With You
No Matter What The Cost

I Think Im Going Crazy
I Just Don't Know What To Do
My Heart Controls My Mind
I've Fallen In Love With You




Valentines Rant

Why is Valentine's such a big deal?
It ticks me off, so this is how I feel.

Forget the dumb roses
and screw all the candy.
Don't make me hurl
by acting all dandy.

All this cute stuff;
it's really quite stupid.
Especially since we call a diapered man Cupid.

Silly grins plastered on everyone's face,
Why is it that all is either pinkish or lace?

The cheap sweethearts
always taste crappy.
The words *be mine*
are disgustingly sappy.

I'm done with this rant
as you can see.
So in final parting,
Cupid can bite me!!!!!!



Redneck Wedding.

Dearly Beloved; and you too Earl,
We have all gathered here together,
In everyone's favorite bingo church,
To hitch these young-uns up forever!

Let me hear you all say yea-ya!
Luke here has finally gotten wise;
He dumped that city girl hussy,
And here we are; what a surprise.

Rumor has it, she slept around!
An adulterous woman was she!
She wasn't very good in bed,
At least that's what most men told me.

She wasn't without her talents though.
She once sucked an ice cube through a straw!
A skill only a city girl would have,
The men who witnessed it were in awe!

Forgive me if I seem distracted.
Let's get back to the affairs at hand.
Did I say affairs? My mistake.
I hope you all try to understand.

Luke, do you take your cousin Peaches
To be your lawfully wedded wife?
Do you promise to kiss her butt,
For the rest of your natural life?

Will you love, honor and respect her,
Even when she does nothing but nag?
Will you leave the toilet seat down
Now and until she's an old hag?

And Peaches, will you have sex with Luke
Even when you're not in the mood?
Get a Martha Stewart cookbook,
And try to fix this boy some real food?

Will you please learn that trick with the straw?
And you know my number if you do.
Now, let's get this thing over with,
So we can start that barbeque!

Georgie, catch that chicken with the rings!
Be careful on that foot, if you can.
You're lucky Luke only shot you there.
This way, you can still be his best man!

Okay boys, you'd best cock your rifles!
This time, you better aim for the head!
Anyone out there have a reason
Why this couple should not be wed?

Anyone? Alright, put em down boys.
I know, it is a big bummer;
But you still might get to shoot someone
When the tourists arrive this summer!

So, by the authority of the church,
And the fact that I can smell that meat,
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
Now kiss your bride so we can eat!


^^^My favorite one. Its great.

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