Waah!
I can't get my tattoo at Fine Line.
Now I have to search to find somewhere that can do it.
*Ahem* What science homework? you must be crazy.
*Edit*
Impact Body art.
2PM Saturday
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Well isnt that shitty.
*Warning: Bitch post. I had so much fun this past weekend, but there are still things gnawing at my heart. I can’t believe your doing drugs again. Like really, you have so much more to live for. You don’t need to be doing that, and I can’t even yell at you for being so stupid. And what really pisses me off, is you offered HER of all people, connections. She will not do drugs. And to think that she would is wow. You know her; you know she isn’t like that. But who knows. It’s like she’s not even herself anymore. She smokes now, and I feel responsible. I keep acting and pretending it doesn’t bother me but it does. Not just the smoking, but also the drinking. It scares me so much to know she enjoys drinking. And that she can’t wait to do it again. Drinking is not fun, I would know. (Falling off treadmill.) Because then on top of that is alcoholism. I’ve seen it destroy people. I will kick her ass before I ever let that happen. Part of me understands, but part of me doesn’t. Honestly, I know how her parents are, and I know how mine can be. It still isn’t an excuse for bad habits. I know that bad habits are not the way to deal with it. So why do I do them? Because it’s what is expected of me. People expect to see me smoking, or drinking. They expect me to say yes to everything my heart cries no too. Yes(no) I will sleep with you. Yes(no) I want to steal a car. Yes(no) I’ll go smoke a joint. Yes(no) I will help you steal. I can’t say no, and when I do, I feel guilty. I have been through a lot and have lost a lot of friends, so I try to do whatever I can to keep the ones I have. Even if it means not standing up for what I believe in. Whatever about me, back to her. She needs to smarten up before its too late. What’s worse is I can’t do anything, it has to be something she wants or she won’t change. And then there is him. I don’t know what it is between us, but there is just something great about you. Unfortunately you will never be mine. But while we are watching movies, cuddled up, listening to your heartbeat (which proves you do have a heart) it almost seems like we could be. Even when we argue and yell, it seems normal. I don’t know what you think or feel about me, but there are days I think you just say you care, its about as bad as the lines you feed me. The lines I take, like they don’t even taste bad. Like they mean more than what is on the surface. Regardless, I cant do anything to change any of the above because it is all out of my hands. And that bites. So now I get to go home and add another notch in my skin, to prove yet again how weak I am. Yay me.
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