*sigh*
The one night a week a i actually get to see you
and you never even acknowledge my presence.
Its like I'm totally invisible.
Thank you for making me feel worthless, i greatly appreciate it.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Wellll....
Thats was interesting.
I need to go for a walk, i hope Jess can go after supper.
Or before.
Regardless.
Dude I fucking hate my phone.
Its a fucking piece of shit.
I cant wait to get a new phone, because i hate not knowing when or if its going to charge.
=(
BTW I hope your ok. I miss you and love you and your going to be ok.
Your just up in the N.E now, so I am going to have to come see you.
Because I love you and i want to see for my self your alright.
<3
I wish I could tell you straight up what I am thinking, but I can`t.
I dont know how you could be excited to move, but I`m happy for you.
I miss talking to you.
I feel very alone somedays, when I think about everything around me.
Its over whelming. I think I`m pushing to hard to soon, and I cant handle it.
I wish I could say i didnt see this coming, but i did.
*Sigh*
I need to go for a walk, i hope Jess can go after supper.
Or before.
Regardless.
Dude I fucking hate my phone.
Its a fucking piece of shit.
I cant wait to get a new phone, because i hate not knowing when or if its going to charge.
=(
BTW I hope your ok. I miss you and love you and your going to be ok.
Your just up in the N.E now, so I am going to have to come see you.
Because I love you and i want to see for my self your alright.
<3
I wish I could tell you straight up what I am thinking, but I can`t.
I dont know how you could be excited to move, but I`m happy for you.
I miss talking to you.
I feel very alone somedays, when I think about everything around me.
Its over whelming. I think I`m pushing to hard to soon, and I cant handle it.
I wish I could say i didnt see this coming, but i did.
*Sigh*
Monday, March 9, 2009
Angel in the Night- Basshunter
You are my light in the dark
You are the beating in my heart
But that is not enough
Will I ever be by your side
Your hair is dancing in the wind
Your eyes are burning off my skin
And I'm so happy when I see
That you are smiling back at me
You're living burn marks on the ground
Thank you God for what I've found
I don't know how, I don't know why
That you're my angel in the night
You are my light in the dark
You are the beating in my heart
Let me hold you now
Just like days before you start to cry
You are my light in the dark
You are the beating in my heart
But that is not enough
Will I ever be by your side
I try my best to satisfy
But all you do is where we make it right
I don't know what I'm gonna do
But I'm so crazy about you
Even if I don't know where to start
Even if my love is tearing me apart
I just know that you and me
We were always meant to be
You are my light in the dark
You are the beating in my heart
Let me hold you now
Just like days before you stopped to cry
You are my light in the dark
You are the beating in my heart
But that is not enough
Will I ever be by your side
You're my angel in the night
You are the beating in my heart
But that is not enough
Will I ever be by your side
Your hair is dancing in the wind
Your eyes are burning off my skin
And I'm so happy when I see
That you are smiling back at me
You're living burn marks on the ground
Thank you God for what I've found
I don't know how, I don't know why
That you're my angel in the night
You are my light in the dark
You are the beating in my heart
Let me hold you now
Just like days before you start to cry
You are my light in the dark
You are the beating in my heart
But that is not enough
Will I ever be by your side
I try my best to satisfy
But all you do is where we make it right
I don't know what I'm gonna do
But I'm so crazy about you
Even if I don't know where to start
Even if my love is tearing me apart
I just know that you and me
We were always meant to be
You are my light in the dark
You are the beating in my heart
Let me hold you now
Just like days before you stopped to cry
You are my light in the dark
You are the beating in my heart
But that is not enough
Will I ever be by your side
You're my angel in the night
Sunday, March 8, 2009
!!!!
Wow so that was the best weekend ever.
Which i say alot, but nothing could have been better than this weekend.
So friday I went swimming with Layne and Jess.
Which was kick ass.
The play the best music.
We got to see a few people we havent seen in a while.
Austin, Brenden, Johnny.
Austins not in jail WOOT!
We just had a great time.
I love spending time with Layne at the pool, I'm very open.
Its nice just to get rid of the shyness if only for a few hours.
Saturday was epic!
We went skating.
Started with seeing Derek.
He is like 20-something, and when i first met him i had this HUGE crush on him,
mostly because i couldnt help it, hes adorable. Tattoos, piercings and multicolored hair, whats not to love?
And i havent seen him since the fireworks in August.
So that put my in a great mood.
Plus me and Jess looked amazing. So we both just felt great.
And they played great music.
Donnie came with his friend Devon and we chilled for a bit.
And Devon wanted to go for a smoke at 11, so at 11 we took off our skates and stuff on our way out.
But then Donnie ididnt want to so they didint but while we were by the lockers
there were the two cute guys we thought were gay.
And one was loaded.
With a bottle of beer up his shirt.
And he asked if we were going out for a smoke, and were like yeah, and then the drunk one said to join them outside. and Jess said Only if i can have a sip.
So we hung iwth them for the last hour.
Shane and Alec(?)
Shane was the drunk one, and he was tripping all over himself.
It was funny.
But inside the foyer, this dad had his son, but left his shoes and coat in the car so he told him to stay put.
And this was just a tiny child.
And shane was like, lets go buddy and took his coat off and put it around this kid and carried him out to the car.
Now me and jess were like no dont, like you dont just pick up someones kid, especially when your drunk, but Alec(?) said that it was ok, that he is a good guy.
So it was cute.
It was just alot of fun.
I cant even verbalize it all.
Which i say alot, but nothing could have been better than this weekend.
So friday I went swimming with Layne and Jess.
Which was kick ass.
The play the best music.
We got to see a few people we havent seen in a while.
Austin, Brenden, Johnny.
Austins not in jail WOOT!
We just had a great time.
I love spending time with Layne at the pool, I'm very open.
Its nice just to get rid of the shyness if only for a few hours.
Saturday was epic!
We went skating.
Started with seeing Derek.
He is like 20-something, and when i first met him i had this HUGE crush on him,
mostly because i couldnt help it, hes adorable. Tattoos, piercings and multicolored hair, whats not to love?
And i havent seen him since the fireworks in August.
So that put my in a great mood.
Plus me and Jess looked amazing. So we both just felt great.
And they played great music.
Donnie came with his friend Devon and we chilled for a bit.
And Devon wanted to go for a smoke at 11, so at 11 we took off our skates and stuff on our way out.
But then Donnie ididnt want to so they didint but while we were by the lockers
there were the two cute guys we thought were gay.
And one was loaded.
With a bottle of beer up his shirt.
And he asked if we were going out for a smoke, and were like yeah, and then the drunk one said to join them outside. and Jess said Only if i can have a sip.
So we hung iwth them for the last hour.
Shane and Alec(?)
Shane was the drunk one, and he was tripping all over himself.
It was funny.
But inside the foyer, this dad had his son, but left his shoes and coat in the car so he told him to stay put.
And this was just a tiny child.
And shane was like, lets go buddy and took his coat off and put it around this kid and carried him out to the car.
Now me and jess were like no dont, like you dont just pick up someones kid, especially when your drunk, but Alec(?) said that it was ok, that he is a good guy.
So it was cute.
It was just alot of fun.
I cant even verbalize it all.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Like really? *Truth Project.
Ok so i have been attending this Truth project.
And I kinda like it.
KINDA.
There are some fucked up things.
All i ever see is how closed minded Christians are.
They really have this like stone set of good, bad, right, wrong.
Its whack.
And even though this video thing is suppoed to show both the Christian and Non-Christian view points, they don't.
They show the Non-Christain side as they percieve it.
So if they think its so flawed, then it will be because thats all they want to see.
Whats worse is I think only Jessica and I can see that its unfair.
Everyone else sits there and takes it.
Not even questioning it.
Fuck if someone re wrote the Bible saying to go to Heaven you had to kill yourself on your 65th birthday, they would!
They just accept it.
It could be a cult.
Maybe it is?
Someone mentioned how wrong abortion is.
I was upset at that.
I think abortion is wrong, but its a choice someone else has to live with.
And what if someone was raped and beaten?
Then found out she was pregnant with that monsters child?
I wouldn't want it in me.
I would have to abort it.
But if your just carelessly having sex and get knocked up, then i think to abort a life becuase you fucked up, is wrong.
And then Maslow's hierarchy of needs.
If you believe that your good, then you will be.
If in your heart you know your a good person then your actions will show it.
(Maslow studied what he called exemplary people such as Albert Einstein, Jane Addams, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Frederick Douglass rather than mentally ill or neurotic people, writing that "the study of crippled, stunted, immature, and unhealthy specimens can yield only a cripple psychology and a cripple philosophy.") -http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow's_hierarchy_of_needs
And if you really look at it, it makes alot of sense.
So to bash it, is lame.
Ugh.
I wish they could really open their minds.
I wish i had the balls to say so.
Maybe i will next time.
But i doubt it
And I kinda like it.
KINDA.
There are some fucked up things.
All i ever see is how closed minded Christians are.
They really have this like stone set of good, bad, right, wrong.
Its whack.
And even though this video thing is suppoed to show both the Christian and Non-Christian view points, they don't.
They show the Non-Christain side as they percieve it.
So if they think its so flawed, then it will be because thats all they want to see.
Whats worse is I think only Jessica and I can see that its unfair.
Everyone else sits there and takes it.
Not even questioning it.
Fuck if someone re wrote the Bible saying to go to Heaven you had to kill yourself on your 65th birthday, they would!
They just accept it.
It could be a cult.
Maybe it is?
Someone mentioned how wrong abortion is.
I was upset at that.
I think abortion is wrong, but its a choice someone else has to live with.
And what if someone was raped and beaten?
Then found out she was pregnant with that monsters child?
I wouldn't want it in me.
I would have to abort it.
But if your just carelessly having sex and get knocked up, then i think to abort a life becuase you fucked up, is wrong.
And then Maslow's hierarchy of needs.
If you believe that your good, then you will be.
If in your heart you know your a good person then your actions will show it.
(Maslow studied what he called exemplary people such as Albert Einstein, Jane Addams, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Frederick Douglass rather than mentally ill or neurotic people, writing that "the study of crippled, stunted, immature, and unhealthy specimens can yield only a cripple psychology and a cripple philosophy.") -http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow's_hierarchy_of_needs
And if you really look at it, it makes alot of sense.
So to bash it, is lame.
Ugh.
I wish they could really open their minds.
I wish i had the balls to say so.
Maybe i will next time.
But i doubt it
FAILTACULAR: a fail so epic its almost a win.
That is my day.
Woke up late.
But still made it to school in time for one great big hug from Layne.
And since he didnt expect to see me, I made him smile.
I Worked hard in gym class,
then I went to set the ball for Rosey to spike it, and fucked my thumb up.
Which I dont know why, but it made me feel nauseous.
So my math teacher didnt make me do anything, other than write the quiz quick.
And now I feel special because I actually have plans for the rest of the week.
Tomorrow is my moms birthday, so were going to hang out and watch E.R (Only five more episodes *tear*) and then CSI guest starring Taylor Swift, its supossed to be reeeaaalllllyyy good.
Friday=Teen Night! With Layne and Steph and hopfully Kerry. Plus anyone else who decides to go.
Saturday Afternoon: Either shopping with Jessica K, or watching Saw 5 with my dad.
Satuday night= Lloyds with Jess.
Sunday= Church
Sunday evening= Spending time with Layne.
Monday= Going to training with Layne. (Which I am seriously stoked for! May have to bring either Jess or Steph, apperantly someone on his team was going to go to grad with him, and now he has asked me, so yeah. Shes apparently not to happy. So I need some back up so i dont feel like a total dolt.)
Woke up late.
But still made it to school in time for one great big hug from Layne.
And since he didnt expect to see me, I made him smile.
I Worked hard in gym class,
then I went to set the ball for Rosey to spike it, and fucked my thumb up.
Which I dont know why, but it made me feel nauseous.
So my math teacher didnt make me do anything, other than write the quiz quick.
And now I feel special because I actually have plans for the rest of the week.
Tomorrow is my moms birthday, so were going to hang out and watch E.R (Only five more episodes *tear*) and then CSI guest starring Taylor Swift, its supossed to be reeeaaalllllyyy good.
Friday=Teen Night! With Layne and Steph and hopfully Kerry. Plus anyone else who decides to go.
Saturday Afternoon: Either shopping with Jessica K, or watching Saw 5 with my dad.
Satuday night= Lloyds with Jess.
Sunday= Church
Sunday evening= Spending time with Layne.
Monday= Going to training with Layne. (Which I am seriously stoked for! May have to bring either Jess or Steph, apperantly someone on his team was going to go to grad with him, and now he has asked me, so yeah. Shes apparently not to happy. So I need some back up so i dont feel like a total dolt.)
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