The World Around Me

I swear if that boy is mad at me I will never forgive you.
Because yes, I told him everything.
Why? Because I was in a huff and he wanted to know what was wrong.
And yesterday I was sick, today he is.
Now I know that my illness was directly related to stress.
His, I have no clue.
And I miss him.
We haven’t really talked much.
We text long enough to say good morning and let each other know were sick and not going to be there.
And I am so afraid about what he is thinking.
Feeling.
And I feel like crying, but I can’t.
Because I’m in this stupid class.
And I don’t want to look like a dolt.
You might be thinking, well why did I tell him?
Because I am a fairly honest person. I do lie sometimes, I can admit that.
But if I don’t have to I don’t need to, and when something is bad enough to make me spend all fucking day puking my guts out, yeah I think it’s something I should be truthful about.
If not then that’s just one more thing eating away at me.
See, but now I’m worried because I haven’t seen him.
And he has to work like all day Saturday and Sunday afternoons he has training.
So yeah. And because he most likely wont be able to go out tonight since he stayed home today, I can’t see him tonight.
Now this, this is very disheartening.
Because I can’t gauge his reaction if I don’t see him.
And if he is acting indifferent, well I simply can’t tell.
And you are the root of all problems. This time.
Maybe I will end up hating you.
Who fucking knows. At this point I am not happy. Not at all.
Thank you so much.
I really want to drown you in tears and vomit.
Have a GREAT day.
Plus Devon killed Ant George.
Aaron and Kerry are still dating (I think) and neither of them wants to be.
Amanda and Jamie are still having issues.
And Steph took a really bad picture of me. Which will most likely end up on facebook.
*Sigh*