One conversation and my mind is totally centered on him.
FAIL.
Damn i need a fucking smoke, maybe something stronger...?
Mmm beer....
Monday, March 16, 2009
Blogs from last year....Oldest to newest.
02:41pm | Jun 14, '08 | Public
Why is it whenever I need a friend, There isn't one.
I really need a hug, There is noone to give one.
When I need to talk, there is noone to listen.
I have never felt pain any worse than when I looked up, and realized
That I have been alone this entire time.
05:04pm | Jun 14, '08 | Public
maybe love does exist sent 14/06/2008 9:33 AM:
hey ummm ok so i was arrested i am not aloud contact with you until this is all over hopefully it will be soon ok love you hunn
maybe love does exist sent 14/06/2008 2:41 PM:
i love you baby
maybe love does exist sent 14/06/2008 3:08 PM:
hey stay up tonight im coming to see you
He has to use his head.
He isn't allowed to see me.
I am going to break his heart.
Which is going to break my own,
But I dont want him in anymore trouble.
Is that the right thing to do?
Would it be selfish not to?
I don;t know anymore.
10:49pm | Jun 16, '08 | Public
i got to see my baby.(C.H)
im married with fish and newts
wife= mariah
fish= emily and woody
newts= ruby red and macky
06:20pm | Jun 17, '08 | Public
I miss him so much.
This song is going to make me cry.
When i'm with you
I'll make every second count
cause i miss you, whenever you're not around
when i kiss you
I'll still get butterflies
years from now,
I'll make every second count
when I'm with you
03:31am | Jun 19, '08 | Public
About ready to give up.
Guilt, is powerful.
03:12pm | Jun 20, '08 | Public
Wow, i'm not sure whats worse.
Not seeing him and missing him, wishing i could be in his arms.
Or being in his arms, knowing he has to leave soon.
I wanna go back to the days, when we could be together all the time.
When he was the last thing i saw before i went to bed, and the first thing i saw each morning.
I miss waking up in the middle of the night and watching him sleep.
And then accidently waking him up when Boy meets world came on.
Sitting and cuddling and watching boy meets world.
Falling back asleep.
Just chilling, no matter how my hair or make-up looked.
I love that, when i look my worst, he looks at me with loving eyes and says i look beautiful.
I love him with all my heart.
I CAN'T EVEN SEE HIM.
04. 30. 08
07:04pm | Jun 23, '08 | Public
Haha well today was totally epic.
Hung out with my bf. And his dad drove by.
We were like, oh no, but he said it was cool.
So were like liberated!
And then we went to J.C's, meet new people.
Went to the park. Met back up with Mariah.
Broke in through the window.
And now its all just chill.
03:14am | Jun 27, '08 | Public
Well, I walked by the bathroom mirror.
It was strange I actually thought, only for a second, That i was beautiful, and i could understand what Connor saw in me.
At the same time I thought i looked scared and small.
I dont know.
I guess I look at myself, but i dont actually see.
06:49pm | Aug 10, '08 | Public
I love you.
Always will.
So this rift hurts but whatever.
I want you to be happy.
If that means i am not in your life then i guess i can deal.
Just dont expect to see me smile anymore.
(Bet any money you dont show up tomorrow)
(Way to shatter an already broken heart)
07:13pm | Aug 11, '08 | Public
Wow, and still such a great kisser.
God i miss him.
So happy i saw him today.
08:27pm | Aug 26, '08 | Public
I wish you would call.
I'm sitting and waiting
and waiting.
But I swear you never EVER call when you say you will.
07:39pm | Sep 03, '08 | Friends
Even though we only friends. I love him.
And it hurts knowing I'm the only one trying to
hold our "friendship" together.
But if i say it hurts to much knowing he doesn't
even think i'm worth that, and i want him out of my life completely
He freaks out.
I am completely screwed.
No matter what I do.
So here walks the living dead girl.
Dead inside with no peace of mind.
10:39pm | Oct 04, '08 | Public
Omg!
Your so fucking immature.
You lied to me, time and time again.
And i put up with it.
Until now.
And now you think your so awesome because
you can 'yell' at me in CAPS?
Like get over yourself, i'm sick
of you lying to me and treating me like shit.
03:32pm | Nov 13, '08 | Public
Fucking bloody hell.
Life blows.
06:33pm | Nov 16, '08 | Public
Men are stupid
06:31pm | Mar 16, '09 | Public
He spoke to me...
<3
Why is it whenever I need a friend, There isn't one.
I really need a hug, There is noone to give one.
When I need to talk, there is noone to listen.
I have never felt pain any worse than when I looked up, and realized
That I have been alone this entire time.
05:04pm | Jun 14, '08 | Public
maybe love does exist sent 14/06/2008 9:33 AM:
hey ummm ok so i was arrested i am not aloud contact with you until this is all over hopefully it will be soon ok love you hunn
maybe love does exist sent 14/06/2008 2:41 PM:
i love you baby
maybe love does exist sent 14/06/2008 3:08 PM:
hey stay up tonight im coming to see you
He has to use his head.
He isn't allowed to see me.
I am going to break his heart.
Which is going to break my own,
But I dont want him in anymore trouble.
Is that the right thing to do?
Would it be selfish not to?
I don;t know anymore.
10:49pm | Jun 16, '08 | Public
i got to see my baby.(C.H)
im married with fish and newts
wife= mariah
fish= emily and woody
newts= ruby red and macky
06:20pm | Jun 17, '08 | Public
I miss him so much.
This song is going to make me cry.
When i'm with you
I'll make every second count
cause i miss you, whenever you're not around
when i kiss you
I'll still get butterflies
years from now,
I'll make every second count
when I'm with you
03:31am | Jun 19, '08 | Public
About ready to give up.
Guilt, is powerful.
03:12pm | Jun 20, '08 | Public
Wow, i'm not sure whats worse.
Not seeing him and missing him, wishing i could be in his arms.
Or being in his arms, knowing he has to leave soon.
I wanna go back to the days, when we could be together all the time.
When he was the last thing i saw before i went to bed, and the first thing i saw each morning.
I miss waking up in the middle of the night and watching him sleep.
And then accidently waking him up when Boy meets world came on.
Sitting and cuddling and watching boy meets world.
Falling back asleep.
Just chilling, no matter how my hair or make-up looked.
I love that, when i look my worst, he looks at me with loving eyes and says i look beautiful.
I love him with all my heart.
I CAN'T EVEN SEE HIM.
04. 30. 08
07:04pm | Jun 23, '08 | Public
Haha well today was totally epic.
Hung out with my bf. And his dad drove by.
We were like, oh no, but he said it was cool.
So were like liberated!
And then we went to J.C's, meet new people.
Went to the park. Met back up with Mariah.
Broke in through the window.
And now its all just chill.
03:14am | Jun 27, '08 | Public
Well, I walked by the bathroom mirror.
It was strange I actually thought, only for a second, That i was beautiful, and i could understand what Connor saw in me.
At the same time I thought i looked scared and small.
I dont know.
I guess I look at myself, but i dont actually see.
06:49pm | Aug 10, '08 | Public
I love you.
Always will.
So this rift hurts but whatever.
I want you to be happy.
If that means i am not in your life then i guess i can deal.
Just dont expect to see me smile anymore.
(Bet any money you dont show up tomorrow)
(Way to shatter an already broken heart)
07:13pm | Aug 11, '08 | Public
Wow, and still such a great kisser.
God i miss him.
So happy i saw him today.
08:27pm | Aug 26, '08 | Public
I wish you would call.
I'm sitting and waiting
and waiting.
But I swear you never EVER call when you say you will.
07:39pm | Sep 03, '08 | Friends
Even though we only friends. I love him.
And it hurts knowing I'm the only one trying to
hold our "friendship" together.
But if i say it hurts to much knowing he doesn't
even think i'm worth that, and i want him out of my life completely
He freaks out.
I am completely screwed.
No matter what I do.
So here walks the living dead girl.
Dead inside with no peace of mind.
10:39pm | Oct 04, '08 | Public
Omg!
Your so fucking immature.
You lied to me, time and time again.
And i put up with it.
Until now.
And now you think your so awesome because
you can 'yell' at me in CAPS?
Like get over yourself, i'm sick
of you lying to me and treating me like shit.
03:32pm | Nov 13, '08 | Public
Fucking bloody hell.
Life blows.
06:33pm | Nov 16, '08 | Public
Men are stupid
06:31pm | Mar 16, '09 | Public
He spoke to me...
<3
Wow.
Omg.
That was the first time in a long time my heart pounded like that.
It was such a tense conversation.
Why would I even start something with him?
But it was fun to irk him.
He hung up twice.
I know just what buttons to push.
And since he knows im right, he gets that much pissier.
But when we started talking he was very hostile, by the end, he was nicer-and hating that he was.
I hope this ends well.
I hope he does call back.
But i wont hold my breath.
That was the first time in a long time my heart pounded like that.
It was such a tense conversation.
Why would I even start something with him?
But it was fun to irk him.
He hung up twice.
I know just what buttons to push.
And since he knows im right, he gets that much pissier.
But when we started talking he was very hostile, by the end, he was nicer-and hating that he was.
I hope this ends well.
I hope he does call back.
But i wont hold my breath.
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