I actually think I'm going to survive.

He won't talk to me fine.
Ok.
I'm going to be okay.
Its going to be great.
Breathe.
Its just like what happened with Jeff.
I hope.

Well it wasn't so bad.
It actually was quite homely.
I only wish when Uncle called he hadn't made me talk to his new beau.
I am still crying.

But it helped me decide my new years resolutions.
One, Become closer to God.
Two, Pick up the shattered pieces of my life.

Because my mom is right.
I have a lot to offer, and when I finally get my act together
I may just be a decent person.

Wow.
So much drama.
Not sure if ****** really did die.
But if she did wow i feel bad.
And i can't beieve ****'s dad called!
And I miss my jessie <3
And I miss *******.
Rawr.

Sick with the broken heart blues.

*Sigh*

Ok. So bah humbug and all the rest.
****** is still being a douche. Blaming me for everything.
Complaining about how I borke his heart.
Trying to guilt me. Its not fair.
I don't need it.
The last week has been so lame, and not getting better.
But props to Ellen Hopkins with her newest book, Identical.
Great way so help mask my misery.
Its such a twisted book. In so many ways.
So it made me feel a little better.
But I think ******* is feeling different towards me.
I don't understand it myself so I can't explain it, but its off.
Somethings wrong.
We were on the phone for like thirty minutes.
Thats unusual for us, normally it's never under an hour.
But whatever, the way I think it is
if he can't handle my temper, then he needs to remove himself from my life.
If he cant handle me at my worst, he doesnt deserve me at my best.
Which is hard to say, because he has handled alot of my worse qualities.
And i'm amazed he stuck around this long.
But i guess it was bound to happen.
Everyone gets sick of me sooner or later.
And now its off to grandmas house we go.
If only everyone could be there.
I wish they were.
Hopfully Michelle and Tyler come.
Just so the place doesn't feel so empty.
Merry Christmas.

EGAH!

Pain!
Egh, time for pills and a heating pad.

Dear _______

In reply,
By reading your blogs, (which i found by same way you found mine),
I feel the same way.
Reading your thoughts, I was reading my own.
I've been so curious about everything, and wanted to reach out and ask.
But you kinda like intmidate me. I'm not sure why.
Could be because i'm so shy.
So i'm glad you said something.
If maybe, you wanted to get to know each other, i have facebook.
I mean, I'm really not sure if its a good idea.
For a few reasons.
One being, how he would feel about it.
And maybe it would just be opening a can of hurt.
But it could also be helpful maybe.
I dont know.
So, yeah.
I really don't know.